tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11517940825674537652024-03-14T04:04:17.564-07:00Confessionsof a caffeinated redheadAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01924584002702704069noreply@blogger.comBlogger145125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-9011222447590213462019-02-06T21:55:00.000-08:002019-02-06T21:55:44.567-08:00What Self-Care Really Looks Like<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This year has been very challenging for me, and it's only February. Last year--December 9th to be exact--something traumatic occurred and changed my life for[probably]ever. I'm not really ready to open up about it to thousands of strangers on the internet, but maybe one day I'll get there. This incident sent me reeling in a way I've never experienced before. I was totally out of control (in the literal sense), hurt, and scared because of the way things unfolded and continued to play out over the following week. I was immediately more depressed, sad, and apathetic than I've ever been before. I would say I was emotionless, because my face didn't change for the entire week, but there were plenty of emotions brewing below the surface. I cried more in two weeks than I have in 10 years, and at times I felt like I ran out of tears so I would silently sob on the floor of the shower until my lungs could calm down. It pains me to admit it, but there were several days I did not want to be alive and began formulating plans to make it so. My anxiety kicked into high gear as I began to catastrophize about the implications this event would have on my future and the rest of my life. I was free-falling into a bottomless black smoke and it was increasingly harder to think about or interact with anything other than the situation I was in. There were only a handful of people I felt I could turn to, and they are honestly the reason I am still alive. I realize this is very vague, intentionally, but the whole story is probably none of your business, especially over the internet... <i>sorry!</i><br />
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The weeks immediately following are still a blur, including Christmas and the handful of days and events leading up to it. On December 16th I started taking an SSRI to help with PTSD and benzodiazepines to help with anxiety. The doctor put me on Lexapro (escitalopram) and Xanax (alprazolam). This was my second time ever being placed on an anti-depressant; the first time was in early college, but to be honest I don't really remember why (I think I was feeling depressed as a side-effect of another medication I was taking at the time, but quickly figured that out). Previously I was placed on Fluoxetine and I just remember hating it. I was nervous to try Lexapro after hearing stories from friends (and Kanye West, tbh) but I figured anything was better than how I was feeling at that moment. I started taking 10MG every night because my doctor warned me it would probably make me drowsy for the first week or two. I don't know if it was the dosage or just my body's response, but I was drowsy for much longer than that. I was drowsy all day long, peaking around 2-3pm, and it became almost impossible to put in a full day's work without stopping to sleep. I felt high or buzzed or in some altered state of mind whenever I was around others and being social. I lost all my energy and enthusiasm for my job and for life. I felt like I couldn't think straight. Mainly, though, I didn't feel my depression lift and if anything, it felt worse. I was even becoming more depressed because I was missing so much work and so many events due to drowsiness.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">EMDR Equipment</td></tr>
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In the first week of January I started seeing a new therapist, and I say new because I was seeing someone last year for completely different, "normal" preventive-maintenance reasons. The therapist I'm now currently seeing specializes in the type of trauma I experienced. I was skeptical of him at first because he is older, and takes his time when he speaks, but he really does know his stuff. At my first visit he diagnosed me with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and panic disorder. I was diagnosed with OCD as a child, but I believe I've outgrown it, and this therapist believes these diagnoses are only disorders when they negatively affect our life, which is not the case for me with OCD anymore. For all the disorders I have, we've decided EMDR would be a good therapy for me, so we have been working toward that and will probably do our first session this weekend. There is a lot of groundwork done before you can begin the actual EMDR therapy. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing and is a technique used to relieve psychological stress, often stemming from traumatic events. In the same way that REM sleep allows us to process the events of our day (and conjure our vivid dreams), EMDR allows one to revisit and reprocess a traumatic event to begin healing and preventing future trauma. It involves the use of lights and pulsators in your hands to help guide your eyes back and forth as the session takes place; recreating the REM state. I haven't had a full session yet so I can't explain much further, but hey, that's what google and youtube are for. ;)<br />
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It was around this same time (early January) that I noticed my left leg going numb. It started as a slight "pins and needles" feeling in my foot and leg, and eventually they became fully numb. Over the next week it spread to my right foot and started creeping up the left side of my body. On top of that, my feet felt freezing cold all the time and I've since purchased a foot warmer for my desk, and acrylic socks to wear around the house. Thankfully, because I work from home I rarely have to wear shoes or tight pants. It wasn't until I had a weekend photoshoot where I wore heeled boots and skinny jeans that I realized this was going to be a problem. Pain shot up my legs for the entire 2 hours of our shoot, and I honestly don't know how I got through it. Probably yoga breathing (which I'm getting quite good at). When I got home I had a huge blister on the bottom of my right foot and my back was radiating pain worse than I had ever felt before (I seriously think it was the same pain one would have after throwing their back out). I began considering alternative medicines. James and I drove to the local dispensary late in the evening (yes, we went to a weed shop) and bought their strongest nerve-pain cream that they sold. It cost a pretty penny, but it was worth it. I took a long bath with a CBD bath bomb, and then applied the cream all over my legs and back. When I woke up the following morning I had no pain in my legs or back but the numb, tingling sensation was still present. I made an appointment and met with my primary doctor who was just as baffled as I was about the strange symptoms I was having. She did a blood panel to test my thyroid, B12, and other factors (which all came back normal) and said the next step would probably be an MRI of my brain to rule out a tumor or other CNS problem. That really escalated my anxiety surrounding the situation and I felt like the MRI was a bit extreme without trying other things first. (At this visit I also told my doctor I wasn't feeling improvement from Lexapro, and she suggested taking it in the morning instead of at night, so I made that change.)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Magnetic Needles</td></tr>
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I did a quick search online and found an acupuncturist in my neighborhood who could see me right away. My first visit was a little anxiety-inducing, because I had no idea what to expect, but now it is something that I look forward to (I am still going to this day). The place I go to is small and hidden in the corner of an old medical plaza and the doctor is a very old school acupuncturist who has been doing this since 1990 (I read an article about him in the waiting room and could hardly recognize the photo of him). This was my first real experience with eastern medicine but I am convinced there is something to it. For anyone who hasn't tried acupuncture before, it's really not bad. The needles are long and thin (about the thickness of a human hair) and they go in so quickly you can't feel it except for the split-second that they connect to the energy source or nerve. If you are having a flare up, those nerves may be more sensitive and painful, but in general I didn't experience any pain in my sessions. The doctor would put in the needles (about 20-30) and leave me under a heat lamp for 30+ minutes. After he came in and removed them he would do cupping on the spots that had the most sensitivity--my lower back and my left butt cheek. I've had cupping done before at physical therapy, but this was authentic Chinese cupping where he lit a match under the cup in order to achieve suction. After a few minutes of cupping he did a quick acupressure massage (like the cheap reflexology massages everyone is so into these days) and lastly, he applied magnetic needles. The look like little circle/spot bandaids, but they have tiiiiiny little needles that stay stuck in your skin until they fall off in the shower a few days later. I've had trouble with these because I do a lot of floor time in yoga and pilates, so they poke me and cause a lot of pain during class (so I usually take them out after 24 hours). The doctor always prescribes herbs based on your condition, so I have been taking a root/herb medley 3x per day for the past month. I wish I could say that acupuncture has eradicated the pain and numbness in my legs but it hasn't gone away entirely. My left leg has improved immensely but now my left rib cage/back are numb (no tingling) so as of today we've started targeting that spot. While my primary concern and reason for trying acupuncture was my leg numbness and tingling, we've also started doing treatment for anxiety and depression, which involves putting needles in my face. It's not as bad as it sounds, I promise! <br />
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After a lot of research, I've realized my numbness/tingling could be a side effect of my medication. I've also decided I do not want to be on Lexapro anymore, since the pros do not come close to outweighing the cons. With consent from my primary doctor I've tapered down from 10MG to 5MG and I already feel much better. I don't really see my depression lessening, but the drowsiness is almost completely gone (which makes it more bearable). The same time I switched my dose was also when I noticed the numbness shift from my leg to my ribs, so that's when I started putting the dots together. I am curious to see if it will stop once I've worked my way off Lexapro completely. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in early March (that was the soonest I could get in to see <i>anyone!</i>) at which point I plan to discuss whether I'm still a good candidate for an SSRI or if I can be off of it, given everything going on in my life this coming year. While I am disinclined to be on a prescription medication, I can admit that it may be what I need for the next year or two, and hopefully I can be off of it relatively soon after that. <br />
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In addition to acupuncture, talk therapy, EMDR and medication, I've also been keeping up with yoga. I've been practicing yoga for 2 years now and it has become a huge relief for me since my two hip surgeries which left me unable to run recreationally. While I started going for the calorie burn and physical benefits, I quickly learned it was more helpful for my mind and for learning breathing techniques. When I am having a panic attack, I know I can breathe my way out of it. I do Bikram yoga, commonly referred to as hot yoga, and it is amazing for stretching out sore muscles and sweating out toxins (be it literal or figurative). I feel pleasantly exhausted and relaxed after class. I've been trying to go 3 times a week but sometimes I physically have no energy (thanks, Lexapro) so I've really only been going twice a week (I hope to increase that!).<br />
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So now that I've written a long, seven paragraph blog about all the things going wrong with me, I guess I could explain why I'm writing. 1, I really don't want to forget all of this. Another side-effect of my medication is that I have been having trouble remembering things; I'm not as sharp (mentally) as I normally am. I want to remember what happened and what I did to "fix" it, and if somehow this can help someone going through something similar, that's definitely an added bonus. 2, I want to explain that this is the most progressive and radical self-care I've ever been able to practice, and more people should start taking care of themselves sooner than later. So many people have come out of the woodworks since I've shared about this on social media, but it scares me how many people aren't getting the help that they need. I always thought self-care meant getting a massage or having my nails done while kicking back on the weekend with a nice drink. Basically I thought it meant taking a "cheat day" from real life and its stresses. What I've realized over the past two months is that self-care is so much more than that, and is so, so important. It's about being brutally honest with yourself and taking steps to nurture and take care of your soul. I heard a quote today that self-care is the opposite of the golden rule--don't treat yourself any different (or less) than you would treat someone else. As a person who habitually people-pleases and goes out of my way to serve others, this hit home and made a lot of sense. So often I put my needs last or I minimize the severity of the things going on in my brain because I don't want to make time to work on it. I also worry about money a lot, and have a hard time spending money on mental health. This is so backwards! You can't pour out of an empty cup, and you can't have a sustainable, joyful life if your brain is sick or suffering. Instead of seeing these things as momentary "fixes" for my current situation, I am writing this blog because I want to challenge myself to continue seeking out lasting self-care practices. What good is it to gain the whole world, but lose your soul? Why do I allow myself to treat myself as poorly as I do? I want to practice three things radically this year {and after}: honesty, self-care, and self-love. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01924584002702704069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-10506127158303113192018-01-23T13:11:00.004-08:002018-01-24T11:18:44.697-08:00Ancestry DNA ResultsThis year for Christmas James and I both received Ancestry DNA kits to discover our genetic makeup and origins. The day after Christmas we both spit in separate little vials, then mailed them off for processing. The kit said it would take 6-8 weeks for results (bummer!) but to our surprise we were thrilled to get them just three weeks later.<br />
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Being a germaphobe, bottling my saliva in a vial was worse than getting my blood drawn, but I digress..</div>
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Here are my results: Mostly German, with a really small amount of other European sprinkled in. You can see most of my family was also part of a large migration from Ireland in the 1700s.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP4kWREnsGS2qnFH-qdl-9oXDqGWYOkpkJT_XNci0ZC3HiFFupDAPuJjPvPNH36YxpU_-dXfAHPheU0EEZ4MxD3ujFsJwAEzHlOdsEMN1JnEy4UJM5MXn-chdxh1LQwhT74e4k45xtwXo/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-01-23+at+12.45.46+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1518" data-original-width="1600" height="604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP4kWREnsGS2qnFH-qdl-9oXDqGWYOkpkJT_XNci0ZC3HiFFupDAPuJjPvPNH36YxpU_-dXfAHPheU0EEZ4MxD3ujFsJwAEzHlOdsEMN1JnEy4UJM5MXn-chdxh1LQwhT74e4k45xtwXo/s640/Screen+Shot+2018-01-23+at+12.45.46+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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Here are James' results: Mostly Scandinavian, but with a fair amount of other European countries mixed in. Because he has built his family tree extensively through Ancestry.com, we can even see the migration patterns of his direct family members during two large migrations in very early US history (1600-1700s).</div>
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James explained to me that this test doesn't necessarily show you where your ancestors came from (migration-wise), but that it matches DNA patterns in your cells to common markers from different people groups all over the world. So even though I can trace my family members entering the States through Ellis Island from both Germany and Ireland, the physical traits I have and the DNA patterns in my body most closely resemble pure German genetic traits. James' results were a bit more intriguing, because he has no known ancestors from Scandinavian countries, mainly just the British Isles, France, and the Czech Republic. It would be interesting to try and trace his family back far enough to find out!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWMxaX80OgyP7uqRUrFQ7_sfmAwoleKByIGlxmLnyGzcKiBCogk17VKPwSO_gkgsgNx0z555DXoLabXfuQQeGT0Sp3mj9CwnlB8HGwDpCT00McaiuBYsMAB911qYFmwL61yxhTuzvl_sM/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-01-16+at+9.23.17+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1070" data-original-width="992" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWMxaX80OgyP7uqRUrFQ7_sfmAwoleKByIGlxmLnyGzcKiBCogk17VKPwSO_gkgsgNx0z555DXoLabXfuQQeGT0Sp3mj9CwnlB8HGwDpCT00McaiuBYsMAB911qYFmwL61yxhTuzvl_sM/s200/Screen+Shot+2018-01-16+at+9.23.17+PM.png" width="185" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGks6kZP0oND7nhEKH4VBsP44GSvKBCkVM3DjTJGfGp8AUmUwswto0geNEnipMmKjWAkpOdaVDG5eRrsN_WamveeENBKeQHGW_94J_x-fVNwDmr35vfd3c_ijHnA1Ekj7HE735XiVi6Sk/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-01-23+at+1.15.57+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1042" data-original-width="990" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGks6kZP0oND7nhEKH4VBsP44GSvKBCkVM3DjTJGfGp8AUmUwswto0geNEnipMmKjWAkpOdaVDG5eRrsN_WamveeENBKeQHGW_94J_x-fVNwDmr35vfd3c_ijHnA1Ekj7HE735XiVi6Sk/s200/Screen+Shot+2018-01-23+at+1.15.57+PM.png" width="190" /></a></div>
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If I'm being honest, these results left me feeling a little disappointed. Partly because I was hoping for some surprise amount of diversity, but also because they arrived in my inbox the morning after visiting the Holocaust museum and listening to a survivor share her stories of her captivity and the german SS soldiers. Now I know my family members were already in the United States well before the 1930s and had no part in that, and I also know that you can't blame every German person for the acts of a small group of sick men, but it was just a little unsettling to think that the people <i>my</i> DNA stems from were capable of such a disgraceful time in history. Much to think about.</div>
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Some of my friends have taken a similar test through 23andMe, which I would be interested in taking as well, to see if they offer any other information about my genetics. I know that their fancy version of the test includes additional information like your risk for certain diseases, carrier status, and a few random facts like whether or not your body responds to caffeine. I might try this test later this year and of course I will share my results. :)</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01924584002702704069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-72416813242857401422018-01-01T11:24:00.001-08:002018-01-01T11:24:16.206-08:00Welcome, 2018!In the new year I'd love to blog more, if not for keeping my family near and far up to date on our lives, I'd love to write more often so I can look back on this next year and remember all the little things that filled our days. In 2017 my words for the year were <i>Honesty</i> and <i>Transparency</i>, because I wanted to not only be more honest in communicating my needs (and when I needed help), but I also wanted to stop contributing to the deceptive image of perfection we see on social media, and hopefully help others by being authentic and vulnerable. I'd like to think I really made a lot of progress there, but I can tell it's still a work in progress.<br />
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Currently, James and I are enjoying a lazy Monday morning in Scottsdale, AZ where we rang in the new year with James' mom Jill, grandma Doris, sister Laura, and her husband (our new brother-in-law) John. Conflicting schedules made it hard to visit Arizona together earlier this year, but this was a convenient week for all of us. So far we've attended a cool music and art walk (<a href="https://www.dbg.org/events/las-noches-de-las-luminarias-0" target="_blank">Luminarias</a>) at the botanical gardens, made a day trip to see the sights and red rocks of Sedona, tooled around Old Town Scottsdale, and now we are relaxing for a few more days before we head home and back to real life.<br />
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James and I watched the new years countdown in bed from his phone after a long introspective conversation about the highs and lows of our year. Without sounding too cliche, here are my resolutions for 2018:<br />
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<ol>
<li>Stop using curse words; find better descriptor words/improve my vocabulary.</li>
<li>Set hard-line boundaries for my work hours so that I can...<br /> a. Spend more time with James/invest in our marriage<br /> b. Take time to do things that simply make me happy and/or inspire me (hobbies, relaxing activities that are not related to my job or chores around the house).</li>
<li>Spend less time on my phone, be an active participant in whatever I'm doing</li>
<li>Get outside more (this one comes straight from my doctor, who says I'm vitamin D deficient)</li>
<li>Make a lot of money. Without sounding greedy or materialistic, I'd just really like to remove the huge stress of not having enough money to pay our bills some months. </li>
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James would like to finish his time at Long Beach city college, start looking at new career opportunities, and lose a few pounds.<br />
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Above all of these resolutions I have one clear goal that I've been meditating on for the past several weeks. In 2017 I was hurt by peoples' words and actions more than any physical pain or injury. So many times I silenced my own opinions and preference, took on more work than I could handle, or personally overextended myself in efforts to make insignificant people's lives easier, and prevent their feelings from getting hurt. But if I've realized anything from all this thankless work and fear of confrontation it's that no matter how much I do all these things, I'm not being my authentic self and I'm nowhere close to living a life that <i>I'm</i> intrinsically happy with. I'm also really freaking tired of being taken advantage of (especially professionally) and repeatedly having my own feelings invalidated, and I'm done making myself smaller for the sake of saving face with people who wouldn't do the same for me. I realize how negative that sounds. I'm not saying this from a place of bitterness, but instead with the last exasperated breath of an incredibly (and unnecessarily) stressful, upsetting year for me...<br />
In 2018 I want to continue my theme of Honesty, and take it one step further: <i>Advocate</i>. I want to advocate for myself and protect the people I love most (including me!) from the consequences of poor decisions. I want to take back my life (via boundaries) and actively work toward creating the future we have been dreaming of, rather than just "making it through the day" 365 times in a row. Sometimes this will mean saying <i>No</i> and disappointing people that I previously catered to, and therein lies my biggest challenge for the year. Wish me luck!<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-38306463535810517372016-09-22T08:57:00.000-07:002016-09-22T08:57:57.954-07:00Take a picture, it'll last longer.This morning was the first day back in my "walking group" which is, at this point, just me and one other woman from my neighborhood who wake up at 5:00am to walk a few miles around the block before starting our day. As I mindlessly scrolled through my Facebook feed, staving off the dreaded getting-up process, I saw one of my peers' posts from the night before, claiming she had "the best life ever," accompanied with photos of her and her new baby boy. As horrible as this sounds, my first though was, "no you don't". And not because I know her intimately, or think that I have it better, but because she is one of those people who often overshares on Facebook and rants about any and every thing that irritates her. I am not one to forget, so I quickly recalled all of these previous posts and thought, "how can she honestly think she has it all, when all she does is complain?"<br />
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But I think I know where she's coming from, and I'd be lying if I said I don't feel the same way sometimes. Days when everything's clicking and the sun is shining down on you, and your heart feels so full you could burst. Yeah, they are few and far between, but I have those days too. As silly as it sounds, I started taking selfies on these mountain-top days, to remind myself that they exist and that for a fleeting moment, no matter what present troubles are plaguing my life, there is good in the world and I have found it, if only for a day. When I scroll through my camera roll I sometimes roll my eyes at these dorky photos, but they give me hope and I'm glad they are documented. These are the days when I know <i>I</i> have the best-life-ever.<br />
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I once read <a href="http://www.thezerosbeforetheone.com/does-your-relationship-have-the-awesomeness-factor-you-better-hope-so" target="_blank">an article</a> about how the #1 trait that guarantees success in relationships is something called "The Awesomeness Factor," which essentially means believing deep down that your relationship is actually better than everyone else's. Not in efforts to be conceited, but because perception is reality and once you truly believe this, your perceived awesome relationship actually becomes more awesome. I thought this was fascinating and I sought to implement it in areas other than my marriage (which if you're wondering, is totally awesome😉). I think that's where the selfie idea came from, because I am so quick to lose sight of my accomplishments and blessings when things start to get difficult, and I needed a reminder. Now, when I'm sad, or feeling anxious, I look forward to my next selfie opportunity and smile, because I know it's coming, no matter how far off it might be.<br />
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So to the girl who is awake into the late hours of the night, posting photos of her and her babe on social media, beaming with joy--shine on! The world (and news feed) can always use more positivity, and hopefully you will look back on this post and smile, when Facebook inevitably reminds you of it on a later day. We all deserve to believe we have the best life ever, even if the feeling only lasts a little while.<br />
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a.d.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-78323088957993594042015-09-11T15:21:00.002-07:002015-09-11T15:21:17.450-07:00Where I Was<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">In a weird way, I love hearing peoples' stories about "where I was" when _____ happened. Be it a shooting, an earthquake, or any other global catastrophe, I think it's fascinating to see through someone else's perspective how they experienced this time in history.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">On 9/11 I see many people post about where they were when the towers were hit, but for me and my cohort, most of us were pre-pubescent kids with no idea what was actually taking place.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.32px;">On the morning of September 11, 2001, I was asleep when the first tower was hit, as many on the west coast were (5:46 AM). I remember my mom waking me up for school earlier than usual and telling me something terrible had happened to the World Trade Center in New York. I didn't know what a World Trade Center was but it sounded very serious. I wiped my eyes, climbed down from my bunk bed and stumbled towards the blue glow coming from my parents' bedroom. My dad was laying </span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; display: inline; line-height: 19.32px;">on his belly across their bed, propped up on a pillow just inches from the TV, unmoving and fixed on the screen in front of him. I tried to understand what I was watching, but at 11 years old, I really could not comprehend what was happening or how this would come to impact the following years of my adolescence and now adult life. It was then that we watched the second plane hit the second tower (6:03 AM). "Oh my God, Robin, they just hit the second one." That's when I knew it was a big deal, because we did not take the Lord's name in vain in our house, ever.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 19.32px;">This summer James and I had the opportunity to return to New York City (again!) but this time we budgeted time and money for the 9/11 memorial museum--a truly amazing experience that moved me to tears (and that does not happen often). The collection of artifacts, photos, video footage, phone recordings, and personal testimonies amassed there are incredible. You can spend an entire day just reading about all of the found items and recollections from the people in the city on that day. I </span><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 19.32px;">cannot</i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 19.32px;"> imagine being there or what it must have been like. I read in the paper today that heroes of 9/11 are now facing an all new terror--the fact that most of them are beginning to get sick and develop breathing problems due to inhaling so much toxic ash, dirt, and debris during that day and the weeks to follow. This is so sad, but had they not acted, who would have? True heroism.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; display: inline; line-height: 19.32px;">One of the most powerful and upsetting parts of the museum was a small TV screen looping the airport security footage of each of the different terrorists passing through security that morning, several of them entering together at the same time. They exchanged smug looks with each other before grabbing their bags and heading off into the terminal. This made me SO SICK and ANGRY. I truly began to HATE these individuals. To think that they were moments away from committing such a heinous act, and so happy about it, made my blood boil.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.32px;">Perhaps because I subscribe to the true religion of love I will never understand what possessed these men to commit these acts "in the name of [their] god." As much as I don't agree, I can understand why so man Americans hold grudges against all Muslims, no matter how impassioned. I do not plan to make this blog political, but I will say today that I hope our next president, whoever he or she may be, will do something to stop radical Islamic terrorists from committing these types of devastating crimes against our country and its citizens. If we are not able to learn from our past, how will we ever learn?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.32px;">God Bless the USA!</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-45442425468070037082015-09-10T14:43:00.002-07:002015-09-10T14:43:59.882-07:00An Apple a DayAs everyone in the world knows, yesterday was the highly-anticipated announcement of Apple's new lineup of products. I, like many other apple devotees, watched the entire Keynote live from my desk at work. While the iPad Pro looks awesome (I can't wait until I can use my Adobe products on a tablet!), I just shelled out a few grand for a new Mac Desktop earlier this year and I am perfectly fine doing my photo and design work at home... for now. The Apple pencil itself is.. a joke? But I understand the direction they are going in--to create a tablet and stylus duo that will likely put all other competitors to shame in the next few years. I had a tablet on my wishlist for Christmas this year, so maybe I will hold off and wait to read the reviews?<div>
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The last thing to be announced was the new iPhone 6S and 6S Plus. I purchased an iPhone 6 in January and can honestly say I have never loved a phone more. I am always bummed when these mid-season announcements come out, because it means I will soon own an older, obsolete model (for which I am *still* paying full price). I also get completely suckered into the marketing of it all, and now I really want the new phone. Sure, paying $500+ for anything (at this time in my life) is a little outrageous, but the way I see it, my phone is probably one the few items that I use every day, all day, and could probably not survive without. Therefore, the price tag seems fitting. Will I upgrade to the 6S? Probably not, because again, budget! But rest assured if I had the money to spare, I would be pre-ordering this weekend.</div>
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I absolutely love Apple products and I have them integrated in every part of my home. Whether it's music, TV, business, or pleasure, our house is full of those fruit-branded products and we love it. Working in an industry that heavily relies on Adobe products (which perform better on Apple devices) means I will probably be a slave to Apple until I retire, but I'm okay with it. While the price tag is always a little hard to stomach, I cannot find a more comparable lineup of products that works as seamlessly as Apple. </div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>A self-portrait with my first iPhone (4).</i></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-26345374101161413942015-09-04T16:54:00.002-07:002015-09-04T16:54:20.801-07:00Back on Track?It's safe to say I have abandoned blogging. It's sad, really, because so often I form a mental list of things I want to write about and publish online, sometimes just for the sake of getting them out of my head (conserve real estate up in here!).<br />
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I am torn because I now have 3 blogs. I have this one, my photography blog, and a WordPress blog I began a few months ago when I was mad at Blogger. I don't know which platform I like better, but Blogger and I have such a long, well-documented history, I feel like I owe it something. <br />
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I want to start blogging again, but not in the normal let-me-tell-you-all-about-my-life way, I want to post shorter, more frequent blurbs, maybe even as short as a sentence or two.<br />
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Well here's to trying, see you soon.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-72713216163479436142015-01-01T12:14:00.001-08:002015-01-01T12:14:46.723-08:00Amanda + James: A Christmas Letter (2014)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I know it's "traditional" to type and print something like this and send it in an envelope to our 100 closest family members and friends, but this year we skipped the whole letter thing because we didn't feel there was anything worthy to force in front of you regarding our 2014. But the more I think about it, the more I realize 2014 was a remarkable year for us and is definitely something worth documenting. (Granted, I don't feel like paying the postage to send this to everyone in my address book, but it's here if you so desire to read it.)<br />
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As you probably already know, we ended 2013 on a somber note--my mom had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, and after James was laid off in November we were looking for a solution to our financial woes which resulted in us relocating to San Diego to live with my parents. The plan was short-term; it wasn't supposed to last for any longer than it would take for my mom to heal from her surgery and for James to find a new job, but you know what they say about the best laid plans... So here we are, in December, still living at home and trying to figure out the next steps. I guess I shouldn't say "we" are living at home, but more on that later.<br />
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I like to refer to 2014 as "the lost year," because it was really one big blur that kind of got lost in all the drama going on in our personal lives. For those following along, my mom was diagnosed last December and underwent a double mastectomy with reconstruction on the last day of February. Praise be to God that she was only Stage 2 and did not require any chemotherapy or radiation, but that shouldn't discredit the recovery that she did undergo. I stayed home to help take care of her and bring her to all of her doctors appointments and as difficult as it was to be the caretaker, I know it was much more difficult for my mom. She is back at work now and doing great; she is cancer free and has also become a vegetarian. <br />
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I purchased my first DSLR camera in March and began shooting everyone and anything, knowing I would be <a href="http://amandadoskocil.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-big-one.html" target="_blank">shooting my friend's wedding</a> come September. What I didn't know at the time was how transformative this whole experience would be. What started out as a photoshoot here or there to test out new techniques soon became a profitable side-business that has kept me busy all year. I believe I have truly found my passion in life--both photography and graphic design bring me so much joy it doesn't even feel like work. I ended the year shooting 4 weddings and countless family portrait sessions, not to mention the engagement shoots to go along with the weddings and also a few newborn baby shoots! I can honestly say creating <a href="http://www.doskofoto.com/" target="_blank">DOSKOFOTO</a> has been the highlight of 2014, and something I plan to pursue more professionally in 2015 and years to come. While I have been shooting away, pouring over photography blogs and tutorials, making business cards and shaping my vision, James has been behind the scenes helping make everything possible. He has taken over the accounting side of our business, built me a website, and is learning code for future DOSKOFOTO expansion. I could not be doing what I'm doing if it were not for his constant support and encouragement. <br />
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Following her surgery, as soon as my mom was healed and back at work, the job hunt began in full-force, for both James and myself. I started working a temporary office job for a soccer camp--the Berkshire Soccer Academy--whose office is located here in San Diego though the camp officially takes place in East Otis, Massachusetts (in the beautiful Berkshires). What I thought was a two-month assignment soon turned into a full-time job that then led to the adventure that was our <i>Summer on the East Coast</i>. After turning down the opportunity quite a few times, I eventually decided to accept a summer position as the camp photographer, so long as I could bring James along with me. He worked at the camp doing odd jobs, but primarily working as the official camp Driver. I accepted the position knowing it would give me exposure to a new field--sports photography--and it would also give me the opportunity to meet soccer celebrities from the USWNT like Mia Hamm and Heather O'Reilly. It was truly amazing to watch (and photograph) them, but the best part of our summer was making new friends and getting away from home and the rut we were in. We capped off the summer with a trip to New York City for our second wedding anniversary and we had an amazing time. It was an unforgettable trip, filled with touristy stuff and plenty of new experiences. I think we would be fine living there if we could afford it, but maybe only for a year or so as it is quite a busy place. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7ezXiVN9Wd2o43EubVYyMbe17wD_vTHHkYd5r-N1BN8WTeH3J_KUAUuyxshN1p75-XgdLPId7ii7Hkz10Wg-DcF-KhbqL8RVt3ZJsyPNU-khk0eJ0AtYzmRzXxSkYG93Ho7d6bP_dNDGu/s1600/IMG_5533.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7ezXiVN9Wd2o43EubVYyMbe17wD_vTHHkYd5r-N1BN8WTeH3J_KUAUuyxshN1p75-XgdLPId7ii7Hkz10Wg-DcF-KhbqL8RVt3ZJsyPNU-khk0eJ0AtYzmRzXxSkYG93Ho7d6bP_dNDGu/s1600/IMG_5533.jpg" height="425" width="640" /></a><br />Heather O'Reilly, USWNT</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtMR9UoT7Jkzjfq1ETaL0S3c9l1XgIGkNlbHr0vo0n0VJ1kCwLxZWDFj95n07BZSNqol95wMxUyh2Lt9S_9P_Zvc0eFLMxvspHYcxjtqRjKkhsoG4cl1HjLce5AXR5ioouobXsA9DrEQgo/s1600/TFSA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtMR9UoT7Jkzjfq1ETaL0S3c9l1XgIGkNlbHr0vo0n0VJ1kCwLxZWDFj95n07BZSNqol95wMxUyh2Lt9S_9P_Zvc0eFLMxvspHYcxjtqRjKkhsoG4cl1HjLce5AXR5ioouobXsA9DrEQgo/s1600/TFSA.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a><br />Tisha Venturini-Hoch, Ange Kelly, Mia Hamm, Me, Kristine Lilly</div>
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Coming home from camp was like clearing the slate. We were both unemployed all over again but with so many new experiences under our belt. During the summer I had been having a lot of pain in my hips (note: I have chronic hip pain and had surgery last March to fix the right side, but it is/was still very painful from time-to-time) so I went to see my hip doctor who confirmed my fears--I would be having surgery again to fix the left side. What a damper! So there we were, in the middle of August, both ready to get jobs and move out just as soon as we could, but then being told I would be having surgery October 1st and would be laid up for about six weeks after. As you can imagine, no one wanted to hire me knowing I would only be able to work for a month, and not again until December, so my job prospects were slim. A month and a half later I had a left hip arthroscopy and femoroplasty with a little work done on my labrum. While the surgery was a great success, I have learned that rehabilitation and recovery are no joke. I should have learned this the last time but instead I overdid it and denied my body the recovery it needed. This time around I made an earnest effort to take things more seriously with an intensive physical therapy routine 3-4 days a week, home and occupational therapy exercises, and many trips to the doctor to check that healing was going as it should be. There are so many things I'd rather be doing but I have to constantly remind myself that this will benefit me the most in the future if I can be patient and disciplined now. <br />
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In October we had a lot of things happening apart from me having surgery. Early in the month two of our friends from camp relocated to San Diego to work full time for BSA. We've had fun helping them settle in and experience San Diego, and it's also been nice having some friends down here for the time we have left. On October 21st my younger sister, Kayla, gave birth to their first child and my newest nephew, Bradley Shayne Boelter, who is an adorable addition to their family. <br />
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In November, James began working in Long Beach as the office manager for his fathers new accounting firm, Doskocil Accountancy. As you might have guessed, and for those <i>still</i> following along, this means we are officially moving back to Long Beach in the very near future! James is actually already living there (remember when I said "we" aren't living at home anymore?), and I will be joining him very soon as I finish up my physical therapy program here in San Diego. On New Year's Eve we signed the lease on our new place and we couldn't be more excited to be moving back and living together again. What a way to end the year!<br />
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So that was our 2014. It wasn't the most exciting year of our lives, but it also wasn't the worst. I've gained a lot of perspective this year and have come to value time with family much more than I ever did before. While a lot of this year felt like a step backward, I know it was more like a springboard for greater things to come in 2015, even if those things are small. In 2015 I look forward to a healthier year for myself and my family, a new home and new job in Long Beach, and continued pursuit of my passions in photo and design. For anyone who has stuck with me through this longer-than-anticipated letter, I hope 2015 is a year filled with growth and blessings for you and yours!<br />
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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-44464921228685012702014-08-07T06:57:00.000-07:002014-08-07T06:57:13.778-07:00That's a WrapTomorrow is my LAST day working at camp! I can't believe the end came so swiftly, but then again there were definitely times I thought the days were dragging by.<br />
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Today is my last day <i>off</i> and I'm sitting in a cute little coffee shop in Great Barrington while my friend Amy takes a yoga class, then we're getting manicures and going to the Co-op for some snacks. Hard life, right?<br />
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East Otis (and most of the surrounding Berkshires) is probably one of the most uninteresting towns I've ever been in... there are only 2 restaurants, a library, an antique shop, and a gas station. The surrounding towns have a *little* bit more to offer, but not much in the way of entertainment. But you know what? We have found awesome things to do every chance that we got to leave campus, and I've actually had a lot of fun being outdoors in all these news places. It's given me new perspective, if I can have a great time in a small town like this, I better never complain about being bored when I'm back home. It's also interesting to note that here everything is very far away (the nearest town is about 30 mins away, the town I am in right now is about an hour away from camp) and driving an hour or two both ways is like nothing now. The hour and a half drive from SD to LB will probably seem even shorter next time we drive it.<br />
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Last Saturday most of the staff departed and we were left with just a handful of other people who are staying around to close up camp. It's been so sad! I didn't think I would form meaningful relationships with people I only knew for 5 weeks, but I was oddly depressed this week and missing everyone terribly. We offered our house to anyone who would come out to CA for a visit, and people are actually taking us up on it, so we're stoked to have some visitors when we return!<br />
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Last weekend was our staff banquet and I was in charge of compiling some photos and videos of our staff, so if you've got a *bit* of time to spare, check it out and see what it's been like ;)<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="//player.vimeo.com/video/102403992" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe> </div>
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<a href="http://vimeo.com/102403992">BSA 2014 Staff Banquet Slideshow</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user19546374">Berkshire Soccer Academy</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</div>
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After work tomorrow all that's left is to pack and then Saturday morning we get on a bus to NYC for our anniversary trip. We are so excited, I can't even think about it too much or I get overwhelmed. Everyone has been giving us input on where to eat and what to see and how to get around and I am just looking forward to all of it. Not to mention I get to celebrate TWO years of marriage with my best friend! How does time disappear so quickly??! I miss being a newlywed, but then again I wouldn't trade all the wisdom we've gained for any amount of honeymooning. Woooohoooo I can't type anymore, I'm getting too excited again!!!<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-79502974437229436882014-07-26T11:21:00.004-07:002014-07-26T11:21:37.591-07:007 down, 3 to go.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb0nOf5hlPgtwTPDAveKkpRW5klC2xXQLxdAL6NfeKTkzYlKdCkomrOUWMiVpOWz1kgOJXHz-K5isaKUObNABqbI851WszZayz6DupMBS1pUGFY6hXt8xEBN0voCpQbh5jMZ7FX_BFZaGq/s1600/IMG_6674.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb0nOf5hlPgtwTPDAveKkpRW5klC2xXQLxdAL6NfeKTkzYlKdCkomrOUWMiVpOWz1kgOJXHz-K5isaKUObNABqbI851WszZayz6DupMBS1pUGFY6hXt8xEBN0voCpQbh5jMZ7FX_BFZaGq/s1600/IMG_6674.JPG" height="320" width="180" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEx-H9Iulmg53U60v8vfUFkoxFoo8Tx9FVxQmWjpbiyaRcYhjEmDDt0Qf-WGfFTG-cgMINPqey955ZpXJnOFEeTV8o43xJ5LHZmZov1mKHF0vljQ6fxx6sS-14d7R18HuCK8Ry_wxItBnu/s1600/IMG_6691.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEx-H9Iulmg53U60v8vfUFkoxFoo8Tx9FVxQmWjpbiyaRcYhjEmDDt0Qf-WGfFTG-cgMINPqey955ZpXJnOFEeTV8o43xJ5LHZmZov1mKHF0vljQ6fxx6sS-14d7R18HuCK8Ry_wxItBnu/s1600/IMG_6691.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>(Quick jaunt home to shoot a wedding--and celebrate my birthday!)</i></span></div>
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<br />I can't believe it's been 7 weeks that we've been gone and working on the east coast. Some days it feels like we just got here, other days it feels like we've been here for an eternity. Camp life has its ups and downs, but I think the feeling is mutual between James and I--we'd like to be home now! I think if there's anything I've learned from this opportunity it's that I don't like being away from our "home base" for very long! I miss my family, my bed, my shower, my cat! I miss eating what I want when I want it, and being in control of my environment. I don't like feeling like a prisoner--all the way out here with no car or means of transportation, always having to beg to borrow someone's car just to get some fresh coffee. But now that I'm done ranting, I will say camp has had some <u>great</u> highlights. We have thoroughly enjoyed the new little cohort we have formed with the other staff living here and I know it will be hard to say goodbye when most of them leave next weekend. Besides making loads of new friends I think it has also been a great chance to evolve as a person as I have noticed some things about myself maturing more and more as the summer progresses. I have definitely flexed my "confrontation muscle" a bit more than I'm comfortable with, as well as practicing humility and kindness in the face of adversity and pain. Our marriage has taken on a different form while working here, in front of children and on display for everyone to see. My OCD tendencies have been put to the test and my "survival skills" have been honed. And it has been nice to be more or less unplugged! While we still have our phones (and internet access in the office), it's been nice to put the phones down for most of the day, and to enjoy the great outdoors. I even have my first tan line! It's small, but it's there, hiding behind my watch band!<br />
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This coming week is the last week of campers, then we are here for one week of "post-camp" before heading on to New York for our anniversary trip. My brain feels like it's about to explode with all the photos I'm shooting and editing--last time I checked I'm up to 12,000 for the summer so far! (And at the same time, hurrying to edit the photos from the 4th of July wedding that I shot a few weeks ago!) But I can't complain, it's work that I LOVE doing, and I wouldn't trade it for any other role here.<br /><br />Like I said, we're are getting ready for our trip to the Big Apple, so I'll definitely have to post after that, when we're back home safe and sound. Until next time!<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-86248803760564183892014-06-26T12:31:00.000-07:002014-06-26T12:52:40.530-07:00Camp Update!Hello? Hello? Is anybody out there?<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>(Monday night I risked my camera's life to get some great shots from the canoe--more to come!)</i></span></div>
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We are <a href="http://amandadoskocil.blogspot.com/2014/06/berkshire-soccer-academy-for-girls.html" target="_blank">here</a>! We are here in the beautiful Berkshire Mountains and we have been living the camp life for the last three weeks! It has NOT been easy for this California girl to adjust, but I think I've made it. First thing to note about living in New England--it rains A LOT, and preceding any rain storm is unbearable humidity that stays overnight into the next day. I had to purchase rain jackets for both James and myself the <i>second</i> day we were here because when it rains it POURS (we weren't prepared), and I don't say that lightly. I don't think we've ever experienced this much rain, or rain that falls this hard! Like, each rain drop is the size of a golf ball, not like the measly rain drops we get in SoCal.<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Our backyard!)</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(This is actually the cabin that we are living in, nestled in the woods, right on the lake. Our bedroom is up on the top!)</span></i><br />
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But aside from the few rainy spurts we've had, it has been exceptionally beautiful here. Everything is SO green and alive; it's gorgeous. We have 20 acres of Lake in my "backyard" view and every morning there is an amazing landscape reflection on the calm water (before the wind picks up); I've tried to capture it on camera but even pictures don't do it justice.. <br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(A shot from last night's yoga session--one of the more relaxing perks of pre-camp orientation)</span></i></div>
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I've been living/working in the office, helping with any and all administrative and design tasks that need to get done before campers arrive on Sunday, while James has been busy driving all around the state of Massachusetts (and Connecticut and New York!) to get all of our errands and pick-ups completed. I've recently begun my transition from office work to photographer and all I will say is that I couldn't be more excited to be out of the office and onto my passion, so to speak.. And how lucky are we?! My dad noted in an email that we have got to be some of the luckiest people around, to be spending our summer and earning our income living in such a nice place, taking hiking and swimming breaks along with doing what we love (in my case, photography). And he's right! It has been quite the change of scenery, but I'll take it. Living in East Otis, the nearest town is about 30-45 minutes away (Target, groceries, airport, etc.) and I <i>haven't had Starbucks in over three weeks! </i>(Or any lattes, for that matter.) But don't worry, I'm going to Starbucks on my day off this Saturday and I plan to drink at LEAST a few cups.<br />
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So now we're down to the wire; Mia Hamm arrives in 2 days and everyone is in a flurry trying to get everything beautified and squared away in time. Tensions are running high and coffee is running low. But there is an exciting buzz in the air and everyone's gearing up! I have to say, it's QUITE the privilege to know that I will be their exclusive photographer, and will be hanging out with them, speaking with them, eating with them, etc. <i>at all times!</i> :D (Can you tell I'm a little starstruck??) My new lenses just arrived in the mail today and I'm about to have a small heart attack over the excitement of it all. Dreams are coming true here, people!<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Biceps, here I come!)</span></i></div>
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The internet usage here is quite limited, along with cell phone reception, so I can't promise many more updates like this, but stay tuned just in case! <br />
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Miss you all! (You know who you are!)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-22185420333346308232014-06-03T21:04:00.000-07:002014-06-03T21:04:00.681-07:00Berkshire Soccer Academy for Girls<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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On March 11th I started working as a seasonal office temp for the Berkshire Soccer Academy for Girls. I didn't think it would turn into much, but it was a nice part-time gig, close to home, and was enjoyable enough. Now here I am, not even two months later, working full time, doing what I love (graphic design) and about to be sent on the adventure of a lifetime. I guess that might be an overstatement, but not by much!<br />
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BSA is an elite girls soccer camp that runs 6 weeks out of the summer in East Otis, Massachusetts. They have 5 week-long sessions with short bridge sessions that connect the weeks for campers staying for more than one session. They have amazing US Women's National Team stars like Mia Hamm, Kristine Lilly, Tish Venturi-Hoch, and Heather O'Reilly coming to coach, and the rest of the soccer, elective and facility staff are creme of the crop.<br />
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When they asked me to come along for the summer I'll admit I wasn't initially interested, but mostly because I didn't want to leave my hubby alone at home with my family for two months. But when they asked if I would come as photographer, and when they said they could make a place for James to work on campus as well, well that definitely sweetened the deal.<br />
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So here we are, 4 days from departure, ready to pack up and ship our lives across the country for the next 10 weeks. I'm apprehensive and a little anxious (mainly because we found out on a moment's notice and I've hardly had time to even pull my suitcase out of the shed!), but I'm also so excited for this opportunity and chance to round out my photography skills. I've always said sports photography wasn't my forte, but now that I'll be photographing soccer celebrities I think I can expand my repertoire. ;)<br />
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So you can probably expect this blog to be quiet for the summer, due to lack of internet access, and TIME for that matter, but you better believe I'll have some great stuff once I'm back!<br />
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Oh, and the sweetest part?! Since we're all the way on the east coast already, and we end "work" on August 8th, we will be spending our [two-year] anniversary weekend/week celebrating in New York City! :D I haven't been since I was maybe 10 years old, and James has never even been outside the airport, so we are SO stoked to be tourists and see all there is to see.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-8948473999474474492014-05-03T19:27:00.002-07:002014-05-03T19:27:59.897-07:00SpringtimeApril was good to me.... April was really good. Not only was my mom able to go back to work but I was able to go back to work as well. I found a great, small part time job on Craigslist and it enabled me to still pursue photography while bringing in a little money. But one thing led to another and my part time job is now a full time job and it continues to bring more surprises each day. It's not for sure yet, but come June I might be flown out to Massachusetts to take professional photos of Mia Hamm, Kristine Lilly, Tish Hoch, and USWNT's Heather O'Rielly (and for anyone who doesn't speak sports language, those are all huge U.S. soccer stars) for Berkshire Soccer Academy's <a href="http://www.prweb.com/releases/2014/03/prweb11654763.htm" target="_blank">Team First</a> event, and what makes it more exciting is that James gets to come with me and we get to live out together there for a few weeks! Sports photography has never been my forte, but getting paid to take professional photos of soccer celebrities is not the worst thing in the world by any measure! I am so thankful to have this opportunity seemingly dropped into my lap; BSA has been very good to me!<br />
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The most exciting thing to happen in April was the opportunity to shoot my first wedding! UUuhhhh can you say, surreal?! I was originally supposed to have an assistant but the day before the wedding an emergency presented itself and she could no longer help me. After about 10 minutes of utter panic I regained composure and mentally prepared for the task ahead, and let's just say all in all the day was GREAT! There were multiple times where I had to fake like I knew what I was doing, but ultimately everything went off without a hitch and I got some amazing photos. Being the photographer has got to be one of the funnest jobs you can have at a wedding--you really get free reign the whole day to go wherever you want and make people do whatever you need. You get to see all the behind-the-scenes and you get priority position at any given time. I think the scariest thing about shooting a wedding is being your own boss, and what I mean by that is that when it's <i>just</i> <i>you</i> taking all the photos (no assistant, side shooter, etc.) no one else is able to see what you're producing and no one else is able to offer you any constructive criticism or guidance--it's all on you to know that you're doing well and getting the right shots. Also, if you miss an important moment, there's no one there to bail you out with a backup shot. I had multiple nightmares leading up to that day, nightmares where I envisioned myself coming home and realizing that every photo I took was out of focus.... But I'm happy to report that was not the case. The ceremony was maybe the most stressful 30 minutes of the day, and knowing where to stand and the right time might be a job in itself, but after that was over I was extremely at ease. I think shooting this wedding solidified my desire to pursue wedding photography. Not because it's where the money is, and not because of the romance, but because to capture someone's wedding day is a job you can't help but love doing. As I edit the photos I have a huge grin on my face because I'm happy for them, but I'm also happy that <i>my work</i> will be with them for the rest of their lives! Delivering never felt so good. :)<br />
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This month we also had a few visitors; my aunt, uncle, and their 2 gold retrievers drove across the country with their RV and spent a week living in our driveway. They left their house at the end of march, drove through Utah's national parks, skied in Colorado, and stopped in at the Long Beach Grand prix before making it to us, and now they have gone up the west coast through all our big cities and are currently soaking up Oregon's Crater Lake. They plan to return home sometime in May when they are done exploring... I'm so jealous!<br />
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Last weekend my sister and brother-in-law announced to the world that they are going to be parents come October. I have known about it for some time but I haven't been allowed to tell anyone or share my photos, so now I can say I'm pretty excited about it! I'm sure you will be seeing a lot of maternity photos in the next few months, and a ton of newborn photos come holiday season. ;P<br />
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Today I got contracted to take photos at a baby shower in La Mesa and tomorrow I'm headed up to Long Beach for the day to photograph my niece and nephew's first communion. I don't know what it is about holding a camera in my hands, but I seriously love it. I can't wait for what's next!<br />
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I don't intend to post a lot of my photography work on this blog because I don't want to inundate those who come here just looking to find out more about what the Doskocil's are up to, but if you are interested please feel free to subscribe to my Photo Blog <a href="http://doskofoto.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-31339834693379747052014-04-02T14:45:00.000-07:002014-04-02T14:45:43.303-07:00What a Difference a Month Can MakeHere we are, over a month since my last post, and I can't believe how much has changed. At the beginning of this year I was really motivated to make 2014 count. I wanted it to be better than 2013 and I wanted to achieve that by making conscious decisions to better myself inside and out. The year has started off pretty rough so far, and at times I feel like I've already failed to accomplish my goal, but at the same time there has been <i>so much good,</i> especially in the little things.<br />
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In January my husband James and I moved out of our beloved first apartment and relocated to San Diego. It was one of the hardest decisions we've made together and it was definitely bittersweet. In November, after having been laid off for the second time in a year, the Christmas season found us in a tight place financially, and also a little low in spirits. On Christmas Eve my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and found out that she would be undergoing major surgeries early in 2014. My head was spinning as I tried to remain in control of my life and emotions but I was ultimately reminded again at how little we can really control, apart from God. After many tears and prayers and days spent sick to my stomach, I agreed to quit my job so that we could move down to San Diego to be closer to my family, and to help us save up and pay off our debts. Leaving our home, our church, and our family and friends was one of the hardest things I've ever done. The last few days in our apartment I could hardly walk through the door without crying over losing our first place, our little corner of the world where our marriage started and so many great memories were made. Long Beach is only about an hour and a half by car but it feels so much farther when you have no friends in your same zip code. <br />
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During late February and early March most of my time was concentrated on my mom. She had a double mastectomy and tram-reconstruction (where they take your stomach muscles out to form new breast mounds) and was in the hospital for almost a week. When she got home she could do very little by herself and needed a lot of personal care. Two nights after we brought her home from the hospital my dad came down with a fever that required an overnight stay for us in the emergency room, only to find that he had contracted diverticulitis and would be dealing with that for likely the rest of his life. To make matters worse, my kitty cat was acting very unusual and after a handful of visits to our [amazing] vet, she's better now but only after learning that she has a heart condition that will follow her the rest of her days. I have to forcefully administer her medicine twice a day and three times on Wednesdays and Sundays, and her discomfort just breaks my heart. Needless to say, I felt like I was playing nurse for everyone in our house this month and often times I was so burned out the days just blended together. My dad is back at work now and my mom is doing amazingly well--she might even go back to work next week. She is cancer free and doesn't even need chemotherapy--praise the Lord! During this whole time I have been taking video clips of her progress and I put them together in a family documentary. I'm so excited to put in the finishing touches and show it off...but maybe not <i>here</i>, as the subject material is a bit personal! <br />
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These past three months at home have been a bigger blessing than I anticipated. I have really enjoyed spending all this time with my family, getting closer with my parents and Kayla & Shayne, and just being back in my hometown has been refreshing. I can't lie and say that unemployment has been a walk in the park... there are definitely downsides, like having no income, and feeling like a bum, but it has also allowed me time to slow down and reprioritize the things that matter to me. It's also nice to just take a breather and step off the "treadmill" that is life, to stop and smell the flowers. It's harder for James who didn't grow up here, and who is suffering through the experience that is living with your in-laws, but I think he's managing well.<br />
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My absolute favorite part of 2014 so far has been my time invested in Photography. If you will recall, last September I was offered <a href="http://amandadoskocil.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-big-one.html" target="_blank">the opportunity of a lifetime</a>, to study photography and apprentice under a good friend of mine who has been shooting for years. She lent me her Nikon dslr and gave me regular photo assignments to start learning the art and the industry. We had a few practice shoots together and I've been shooting a bit down here in San Diego too. I invested in my first dslr camera, my Canon EOS 60D, and I am in <i>love</i>. Come February I settled on a name and started up my official "business" (how fancy schmansy that sounds!) and thus became <a href="http://www.doskofoto.com/" target="_blank">Doskofoto</a>. Our last name, Doskocil, is Czech and in the Czech language, photography is written "fotografování." I figured the name would not only sound cool, but it would subtly incorporate a bit of our heritage to merge the two Czech words. In March I bought my first domain, created my own website, and now am officially in business, pending my small business license. I don't have as much <i>professional</i> experience as I'd like to have had by now, but it's coming, little by little. This year I already booked five weddings and countless photoshoots, and I couldn't be more excited. To think I could one day make a living off of doing something I truly enjoy has been nothing but a pipe dream these past few years, but now it is becoming reality. <br />
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On a more personal note I have had quite a slew of health complications myself, ranging from my ongoing hip problems, to random bouts of gastritis, heartburn, and waking up covered in hives. I seriously can't catch a break. I know the inside of my doctor's office better than most people know their own workplace, as I'm there at least three times a week (for physical therapy amongst everything else). After undergoing an MRI, CT scan, arthritis bloodwork, and after receiving a cortisone steroid injection, I think we are nearing the diagnosis of whether or not I will have hip surgery again this year to correct my hip dysplasia. While I don't relish the thought of another surgery plus the recovery, if there was ever a perfect time to do it, it would be now while I'm out of work and living with multiple caregivers. So I guess the next 3-6 weeks will tell all..<br />
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So 2014 has surely been off to a loaded start, but like I said, there has been so much good. I look forward to the next few months (sans the reality of hip surgery) and I am truly thankful for all the prayers and support that have gotten us this far. Thank you!<br />
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While perusing the fabulous internet app that is Pinterest I recently found a cool little article on women's health and a few habits that each woman should have. I thought I would share it on here for anyone to read, so if you have a minute, <a href="http://www.stylecaster.com/healthy-habits/#_a5y_p=1429847" target="_blank">check it out</a>:<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-73016675158872226102014-02-25T17:49:00.000-08:002014-02-25T17:56:39.238-08:00February Fotos<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-83620403251618278712014-02-18T14:01:00.002-08:002014-02-18T14:01:48.081-08:00Celebrating Presidents and Freedom and StuffOn President's Day James and I decided to take a hike up to the top of our little town, Black Mountain. Going up is a steep, straight shot, then coming down the trail loops and encircles the mountain, so needless to say, getting to the top means the hardest part is over (and cause for victory photos!). We are both feeling it today, but it was fun!<br />
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Shutter speed is fun to play with ;)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOmk_YZp_T9xaL7tvvEK3G4kBifVygrMx0t0kGs5hC42UaDPANPMHNCCtgfCZBgNlrZEHataJ3EXYhkS9EMoYoWhyQsaxBAczQdtu6gOZlc58LISZsj7aei-jkQQMsrtC9qHQgBas6_jxX/s1600/BM+Hike-8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOmk_YZp_T9xaL7tvvEK3G4kBifVygrMx0t0kGs5hC42UaDPANPMHNCCtgfCZBgNlrZEHataJ3EXYhkS9EMoYoWhyQsaxBAczQdtu6gOZlc58LISZsj7aei-jkQQMsrtC9qHQgBas6_jxX/s1600/BM+Hike-8.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a><br />"Look at that mountain back there, we hiked that!"</div>
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Beautiful sunrays poking through the neighborhood on the way home.</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-65269322557947041142014-02-14T21:16:00.000-08:002014-02-14T21:31:53.009-08:00My Funny ValentineToday was such a fun day--I spent the whole day with a smile on my face! This morning I woke up to roses and a hot latte, followed by a movie in bed and an incredible massage. My hubby sure knows how to make a morning! Then we headed up to a local park for a picnic and photo shoot which got a little out of control and had us rolling around in tears from laughing so hard (sorry, none of these laugh-inducing photos will ever be released to the public). Then we came home for a bit before cooking our amazing surf-n-turf dinner, followed by a night of blogging and watching the Olympics. We sure are spoiled sometimes! (Can I also publicly express how much I love playing around in Lightroom 5?!)<br />
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Am I lucky or what?! Not only is he handsome but he has the patience of a saint and lets me test out my tripod for hours on end.... (And then cooks dinner!)</div>
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<i>Dear James,</i><br />
<i>I know you read this blog sometimes so in case you are reading today, I'm sorry I posted kissing pictures on the internet, and that I made you take so many pictures in general, but you have to admit we had a good time. Thank you for always loving me despite my crazy whims, and for always supporting my dreams and passions. You are the only person who understand me, you're my favorite shoulder to cry on, and the only person who can make me laugh any time I'm sad. I don't think I say it enough, but I don't know what I did to deserve you and I will probably spend the rest of my life trying to pay it back. I love you so much my funny valentine, you are my hero!</i><br />
<i>xoxo, me</i><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-23833703913484625542014-02-10T23:29:00.001-08:002014-02-10T23:29:28.002-08:00Is this the Olympics or the Hunger Games?I have to say, this weekend was another great weekend that lived up to its potential. I'm beginning to think I live for the weekends, which is something I have never done before (seeing as most of my life I have worked in the service industry and have spent most of my weekends at work!). <br />
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Something I have really enjoyed these past few days is watching the Sochi Winter Olympics! We watched the opening ceremony on Friday night and even though I am not a Russian citizen it was still such a powerful performance to watch, chronicling the history of their country. They have come such a long way since being confined as the Soviet Union and even the technological and cinematic elements of the ceremony showed that magnificently. <br />
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The one thing that, I think, made viewers across the globe chuckle a bit was when the 5th olympic ring/snowflake was delayed in opening--the memes going around the internet about it are hilarious. I know some saw it as a controversial mistake, maybe one done on purpose (there was a even a <i>rumor</i> that the person who did it was found dead the next day, hunger games style!), but we just kind of laughed it off noting that if that was the only thing that went wrong in the whole ceremony it was still pretty amazing.<br />
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My favorite sport from the winter olympics has got to be figure skating. I think it is definitely one of the sports that requires the most discipline and mental effort, not to mention the physical exertion. I have SO loved watching all of the young ladies and pairs from team USA perform, along with the top contenders from Russia, Canada, Italy, and Japan. Ashley Wagner and Gracie Gold are my girls!<br />
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Another highlight of my weekend was attending Padres Fanfest with my family. We have always been avid Padres fans (no bandwagon fans here!) and baseball is my FAVORITE sport (I started playing when I was 5!) so the start of the season is a big deal in this house. The Padres are notoriously a "bad" team, with little to no funds to attract the good players, but we love them anyway. They are the perpetual underdog and I really do think one of these years they will surprise us all and maybe clinch the pennant if not go all the way! At Fanfest we got to tour the clubhouse and dugout, "run" the bases, meet players and coaches, and lots of other freebies. San Diego is such a beautiful city and in comparison to my time in college spent at Dodger stadium, it is always nice to come home to this pretty place. :)<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-65843097560844406092014-02-05T23:28:00.001-08:002014-02-05T23:28:40.581-08:00An Oldie and a GoodieI've been listening to my iPod again for the first time in a long time and I just wanted to share two songs with you that have been stuck in my head all week. One is "brand new" and one is a bit older, and granted they will put you in two completely different moods, but I promise they are worth at least three minutes of your time.<br />
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Oldie: Skinny Love by Birdy<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="280" mozallowfullscreen="" src="//player.vimeo.com/video/63143366" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe> <br />
<a href="http://vimeo.com/63143366">Birdy - Skinny Love [MV]</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/yoonjireem">Yoonji Reem</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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Goodie: Love Alone is Worth the Fight by Switchfoot<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="//player.vimeo.com/video/83261467" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe> <br />
<a href="http://vimeo.com/83261467">Switchfoot - Love Alone Is Worth The Fight</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/mardeltv">MardelTV</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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*Driving home the other night I heard a catchy song on the radio and I could't figure out who it was, though it sounded all to familiar. After whipping out my <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/soundhound/id355554941?mt=8" target="_blank">Soundhound</a> I discovered it was indeed a band I'd heard before, it was Switchfoot! I know they've had many mainstream songs before, but they have a few new ones out right now that are really good. If you're into them at all, check em out.<br />
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Happy Hump Day!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-48993011734505143632014-02-04T18:34:00.000-08:002014-02-04T18:34:28.262-08:00World Cancer DayI recently came to learn that February 4th is <a href="http://www.worldcancerday.org/" target="_blank">World Cancer Day</a>, a time to celebrate and encourage those fighting cancer and those that have survived, and also a day to reduce stigma and dispel myths about cancer. For me, it is also a day to remember friends and family members who lost their fight against cancer and while they are no longer here with us in flesh, they remain in my heart in spirit. <br />
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This past Christmas my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and so far we have spent the first months of 2014 figuring out where to go from here. After numerous doctor appointments and a lot of good literature, I think my mom has become one of the strongest contenders to fight this disease; on top of exercising more than anyone I know, she's even traded in her meats and cheese for a vegan diet. As a child, we grow up thinking our parents are invincible and will be with us forever. Then something like this happens and it sends shockwaves through your system. I have many friends who have lost a parent or two at a young age and I can't say I know what they felt like, but I know what it feels like now to lose that false sense of invincibility. I'm scared but I know my family and I are trusting in the Lord to bring her through this.<br />
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In 2013 my brother in law, Shayne, was diagnosed with testicular cancer and had surgery which successfully removed all of the cancer. In October my sister, Kayla, had skin cancer removed as did my mom earlier in August of the previous year. In 2012 we lost James' grandfather to cancer, and my mom's best friend was battling colon cancer (she is now cured).<br />
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At times I just want to throw my hands in the air and ask, "<i>who's next?!</i>" because it just seems inevitable. After finding out that my mom is the 3rd generation of women on her side of the family to be diagnosed with breast cancer, I start worrying and wondering if I will be diagnosed, and at what age. All of my friends and doctors are recommending that I get checked for the genes now, but what if I test positive? Do I just live my life in fear waiting for that shoe to drop? <br />
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Cancer is a nasty, cruel, unfair disease, and it has taken too many people whom I love. As much as I hate foul language, the "F*** Cancer" hashtag is growing on me day by day. Haha. <br />
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In memory and respect for all my loved ones touched by this disease, I'm praying for and thinking of you all on this day.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-71030522297224965852014-02-03T16:22:00.000-08:002014-02-03T16:22:52.604-08:00Superbowl WeekendThis past superbowl weekend was one of those weekends that felt like it lived up to its potential, I enjoyed every minute! Whether it was time with family, time spent with my kitty, or just time to myself, it was time well spent. On Saturday we had a great big family breakfast complete with lattes and doughnuts and in my case, a delicious lox bagel. Later my sister and my mom and I went on a 20 mile bike ride from our house to the beach and back... it was killer! They regularly go to spin class together so they are in much better shape than I am and they schooled me. They probably could have gone a lot faster and farther but stayed with me anyways. I thought I was going to be super sore the next day but the only thing that hurts is where that bike seat rubs the wrong way if you know what I mean.... Anyway! After our epic ride my mom treated us to mani/pedis and can I just say those are always so relaxing. After church on Sunday we all headed over to Kayla and Shayne's apartment to watch the superbowl and kick back. Admittedly I couldn't care less about football but seeing as I married a football enthusiast I will be watching the superbowl for as long as I live. (I may or may not have slept through half the game, including the halftime show, but no one saw that, right?!) By the time I crawled into bed on Sunday I was exhausted from the weekend, but in the best kind of way.<br />
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Happy Monday, everyone!</div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-68610429910433368522014-01-03T21:33:00.000-08:002014-01-03T21:33:18.548-08:00It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like... New Year'sIs it just me or has almost everyone of the last 20 blogs I've read talked about how hard 2013 was? Whether it was difficult, unfortunate, dry, unhappy, uneventful, unfruitful, or just not one-for-the-books, it seems to me like many people share in my sentiment that 2013 was not the best year ever.<br />
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It's encouraging to hear everyone's goals and resolutions along with all of their positive thoughts and encouragements to others. I really do feel like 2014 has the potential to be a great year. Currently, I am trying to stay optimistic, utilize the positive energy that a fresh start brings, and <i>not lose momentum</i>!<br />
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I tried to jump on the band wagon and think up one word for 2014, but I can't put my finger on one alone, so I made a small list. I want to clean up my life, not just the space I live in but my thoughts and attitude and many relationships. I want to mature, which means going through hard things and coming out better despite the pain. I want to find peace in my relationship with God, and also with where my life is heading. I want to simplify my desires. I want to love those around me with a more selfless love. I want to prioritize better than I have in the past and make sure my decisions benefit others, and my future self. Assuming I can do these things, I hope the outcome would be happiness. :)<br />
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Here's to a great new year!<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-55426978560314192622013-12-31T10:33:00.003-08:002013-12-31T10:34:57.118-08:00...And A HAPPY New Year!Reflecting back on 2013, I have come to the conclusion it was probably the most stressful, difficult year of my life. I tried to chalk it up to something else, a year of growth and overcoming hardships, but let's be real, 2013 was not kind to us. Starting the year with a debilitating hip surgery, having James get laid off not once but twice, having my 21-year old brother-in-law diagnosed with cancer among so many other serious family illnesses, not to mention the financial hardships we have had to endure from existing on my [small] income alone, 2013 kicked our butts. Maybe the '13 should have given it away, an ominous number looming on the end of every date, or maybe it was the work of God trying to teach us each something greater. It wasn't what I expected for our first year of marriage and it wasn't a year I ever want to repeat.<br />
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As we look to 2014 we have great hope that it will be so much better. Some huge changes are already in the works and I am already learning that sometimes you have to sacrifice the things you want to get the things you <u>need</u>. As I look back on 2013 there are so many things I know I could have done better, so many selfish decisions I made that should have gone another way, and by the end of 2014 I don't want to have those same regrets.<br />
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As I packed up our Christmas decor and boxed it up for next year I added a special touch--I wrote 2014 Amanda a note from current 2013 Amanda, describing our present situations and struggles and our hopes for the future. I wrote about the person I hope to become in the next 366 days and I even included a checklist of small but reasonable goals. I encouraged my future-self and even added in a few jokes. I'm already excited to open it next Christmas.<br />
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As I put away all our Christmas cards from friends and family I also found our Christmas card from last year. I put them side by side and I was amazed to see how much we have changed even on the outside. You can see this year all over our faces. Our first Christmas we were still so bright and shiny, never really having to put our marriage to the test or endure anything too difficult. This year I feel more like a wife than ever before--I honestly don't know how I could have endured any of it without my partner and best friend and I am even more thankful for him and this union than ever before.<br />
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So here's to 2014, may it bring good tidings and growth to you and your kin!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-82574461747042515392013-12-14T15:10:00.001-08:002013-12-14T15:14:14.692-08:00Tree WIlly<div style="text-align: center;">
This year we were stoked to get our first <i>real</i> Christmas tree; after going back and forth about whether it was worth the maintenance, we gave in and went tree shopping. And the result was our beautiful little noble fir--Willy! (After all, a noble fir needs a noble name, like William.)</div>
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James calls him Tree Willy.</div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(Is it just me or does the twinkly-light bokeh just look so much more festive than the real thing?)</span></div>
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He might be kind of small and wonky but he makes our house smell wonderful and we love him.</div>
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It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1151794082567453765.post-1174519910324468962013-11-23T09:10:00.000-08:002013-11-23T09:10:30.828-08:00The Big One<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Right in line with the title of this blog, I feel it's about time to confess this exciting little secret I've been holding onto for some time now. There are so many fears and reasons why I haven't wanted to directly divulge what's been going on behind the scenes but I think it's time to "come out."<br />
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I'm gonna be a photographer!<br />
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If you happen to read my blog frequently or any time in the last few months you might recall my excitement over my new camera that I bought this year in preparation for our summer vacation. I never wanted or planned for it to become a career, and heck, I didn't even buy a DSLR, just a nice point-and-shoot. But I fell in love with it. I started seeing everything through photo filters, not my own eyes, but in the way it would be captured. What intrigued me even more was the film aspect--making movies and capturing the little moments. I toted my camera around Vermont documenting every moment of my family's reunion (celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday!) and I was totally, overwhelmingly consumed by the end of the trip as I scrambled to put together a little video to send back to the fam.<br />
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I never thought much of it, I just headed back to work and my daily tasks, but secretly kept watching my video whenever I thought of it; it made me happy on those long days. One day near the end of August I was chatting in Starbucks with a friend when it <i>hit</i> me--this is what I want to do with my life. It was crazy. My brain immediately attacked the idea. I went back and forth convincing myself it could never happen. Or could it....? I told my friend that I would start small, maybe someone would let me take video footage of their wedding for free, if I offered to make a little wedding video for them... But then that was it. A dream deferred. It was a silly thought, and I have bills to pay, right?<br />
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Perhaps by now you can imagine my surprise when I was handed one of the greatest opportunities to ever come my way. I was stopped at a red light when I heard my phone, alerting me of a new email. I opened it up and this is what I found:<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>(A little backstory, Yessenia and I went to college together and while we took the same classes, I never really spoke with her. Our friendship consisted merely of Facebook and Instagram interaction. She is an amazing pro photographer on the side, and just got engaged this August!)</i></span></div>
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My heart nearly fell out of my chest and my jaw hit the floor. Me?! Are you kidding?! I felt guilty even entertaining the thought, in fact I didn't even tell James until much later! But the idea was spreading through my mind, entering every corner of possibility until I couldn't take it anymore. Then I started asking anyone who would listen what they thought about it. I was unconvinced and I was nervous as all get out. But then my mother-in-law said one thing that really solidified the conclusion I was ebbing towards: "<i>She wouldn't have asked you if she wasn't confident in herself that you would be ready [and able] in time for the wedding." </i>Bam. That was all I needed to hear. I was in.<br />
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I guess the rest is history, or at least you'll have to wait to find out. We've been meeting up for photo dates, tutorials and editing sessions whenever we can find the time, and let me tell you it's been amazing. I really love it and I really fear for my bank account (why does camera equipment have to be so darn expensive?!). I love learning with no expectations and I am so thankful for Yessenia's patience with me.<br />
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I don't know where this will lead, and for the time being I still don't expect it to be anything close to a new career, but it's still exciting to think of the possibilities! Jeeez guys... I'm shooting a WEDDING next year!! Yikes!<br />
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For the full story, or rather, for Yessenia's take on things, check out her blog post ---><a href="http://yosnaps.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-apprentice.html" target="_blank">HERE</a><br />
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<a href="http://amandadoskocil.blogspot.com/2013/10/15-before-15.html" target="_blank">15 Before '15:</a><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">11. <s>Pursue
my creative dreams</s><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0