World Cancer Day

I recently came to learn that February 4th is World Cancer Day, a time to celebrate and encourage those fighting cancer and those that have survived, and also a day to reduce stigma and dispel myths about cancer.  For me, it is also a day to remember friends and family members who lost their fight against cancer and while they are no longer here with us in flesh, they remain in my heart in spirit.

This past Christmas my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and so far we have spent the first months of 2014 figuring out where to go from here.  After numerous doctor appointments and a lot of good literature, I think my mom has become one of the strongest contenders to fight this disease; on top of exercising more than anyone I know, she's even traded in her meats and cheese for a vegan diet.  As a child, we grow up thinking our parents are invincible and will be with us forever.  Then something like this happens and it sends shockwaves through your system.  I have many friends who have lost a parent or two at a young age and I can't say I know what they felt like, but I know what it feels like now to lose that false sense of invincibility.  I'm scared but I know my family and I are trusting in the Lord to bring her through this.

In 2013 my brother in law, Shayne, was diagnosed with testicular cancer and had surgery which successfully removed all of the cancer.  In October my sister, Kayla, had skin cancer removed as did my mom earlier in August of the previous year.  In 2012 we lost James' grandfather to cancer, and my mom's best friend was battling colon cancer (she is now cured).

At times I just want to throw my hands in the air and ask, "who's next?!" because it just seems inevitable.  After finding out that my mom is the 3rd generation of women on her side of the family to be diagnosed with breast cancer, I start worrying and wondering if I will be diagnosed, and at what age.  All of my friends and doctors are recommending that I get checked for the genes now, but what if I test positive?  Do I just live my life in fear waiting for that shoe to drop?

Cancer is a nasty, cruel, unfair disease, and it has taken too many people whom I love.  As much as I hate foul language, the "F*** Cancer" hashtag is growing on me day by day.  Haha.

In memory and respect for all my loved ones touched by this disease, I'm praying for and thinking of you all on this day.

Superbowl Weekend

This past superbowl weekend was one of those weekends that felt like it lived up to its potential, I enjoyed every minute!  Whether it was time with family, time spent with my kitty, or just time to myself, it was time well spent.  On Saturday we had a great big family breakfast complete with lattes and doughnuts and in my case, a delicious lox bagel.  Later my sister and my mom and I went on a 20 mile bike ride from our house to the beach and back... it was killer!  They regularly go to spin class together so they are in much better shape than I am and they schooled me.  They probably could have gone a lot faster and farther but stayed with me anyways.  I thought I was going to be super sore the next day but the only thing that hurts is where that bike seat rubs the wrong way if you know what I mean....  Anyway! After our epic ride my mom treated us to mani/pedis and can I just say those are always so relaxing.  After church on Sunday we all headed over to Kayla and Shayne's apartment to watch the superbowl and kick back.  Admittedly I couldn't care less about football but seeing as I married a football enthusiast I will be watching the superbowl for as long as I live. (I may or may not have slept through half the game, including the halftime show, but no one saw that, right?!)  By the time I crawled into bed on Sunday I was exhausted from the weekend, but in the best kind of way.

Happy Monday, everyone!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like... New Year's

Is it just me or has almost everyone of the last 20 blogs I've read talked about how hard 2013 was? Whether it was difficult, unfortunate, dry, unhappy, uneventful, unfruitful, or just not one-for-the-books, it seems to me like many people share in my sentiment that 2013 was not the best year ever.

It's encouraging to hear everyone's goals and resolutions along with all of their positive thoughts and encouragements to others. I really do feel like 2014 has the potential to be a great year.  Currently, I am trying to stay optimistic, utilize the positive energy that a fresh start brings, and not lose momentum!

I tried to jump on the band wagon and think up one word for 2014, but I can't put my finger on one alone, so I made a small list.  I want to clean up my life, not just the space I live in but my thoughts and attitude and many relationships.  I want to mature, which means going through hard things and coming out better despite the pain.  I want to find peace in my relationship with God, and also with where my life is heading.  I want to simplify my desires.  I want to love those around me with a more selfless love.  I want to prioritize better than I have in the past and make sure my decisions benefit others, and my future self.  Assuming I can do these things, I hope the outcome would be happiness. :)

Here's to a great new year!

...And A HAPPY New Year!

Reflecting back on 2013, I have come to the conclusion it was probably the most stressful, difficult year of my life. I tried to chalk it up to something else, a year of growth and overcoming hardships, but let's be real, 2013 was not kind to us.  Starting the year with a debilitating hip surgery, having James get laid off not once but twice, having my 21-year old brother-in-law diagnosed with cancer among so many other serious family illnesses, not to mention the financial hardships we have had to endure from existing on my [small] income alone, 2013 kicked our butts.  Maybe the '13 should have given it away, an ominous number looming on the end of every date, or maybe it was the work of God trying to teach us each something greater. It wasn't what I expected for our first year of marriage and it wasn't a year I ever want to repeat.

As we look to 2014 we have great hope that it will be so much better.  Some huge changes are already in the works and I am already learning that sometimes you have to sacrifice the things you want to get the things you need. As I look back on 2013 there are so many things I know I could have done better, so many selfish decisions I made that should have gone another way, and by the end of 2014 I don't want to have those same regrets.

As I packed up our Christmas decor and boxed it up for next year I added a special touch--I wrote 2014 Amanda a note from current 2013 Amanda, describing our present situations and struggles and our hopes for the future. I wrote about the person I hope to become in the next 366 days and I even included a checklist of small but reasonable goals. I encouraged my future-self and even added in a few jokes. I'm already excited to open it next Christmas.

As I put away all our Christmas cards from friends and family I also found our Christmas card from last year. I put them side by side and I was amazed to see how much we have changed even on the outside. You can see this year all over our faces. Our first Christmas we were still so bright and shiny, never really having to put our marriage to the test or endure anything too difficult. This year I feel more like a wife than ever before--I honestly don't know how I could have endured any of it without my partner and best friend and I am even more thankful for him and this union than ever before.

 

So here's to 2014, may it bring good tidings and growth to you and your kin!

Tree WIlly

This year we were stoked to get our first real Christmas tree; after going back and forth about whether it was worth the maintenance, we gave in and went tree shopping.  And the result was our beautiful little noble fir--Willy! (After all, a noble fir needs a noble name, like William.)

James calls him Tree Willy.

(Is it just me or does the twinkly-light bokeh just look so much more festive than the real thing?)

He might be kind of small and wonky but he makes our house smell wonderful and we love him.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!