Springtime

April was good to me.... April was really good.  Not only was my mom able to go back to work but I was able to go back to work as well.  I found a great, small part time job on Craigslist and it enabled me to still pursue photography while bringing in a little money.  But one thing led to another and my part time job is now a full time job and it continues to bring more surprises each day.  It's not for sure yet, but come June I might be flown out to Massachusetts to take professional photos of Mia Hamm, Kristine Lilly, Tish Hoch, and USWNT's Heather O'Rielly (and for anyone who doesn't speak sports language, those are all huge U.S. soccer stars) for Berkshire Soccer Academy's Team First event, and what makes it more exciting is that James gets to come with me and we get to live out together there for a few weeks!  Sports photography has never been my forte, but getting paid to take professional photos of soccer celebrities is not the worst thing in the world by any measure!  I am so thankful to have this opportunity seemingly dropped into my lap; BSA has been very good to me!

The most exciting thing to happen in April was the opportunity to shoot my first wedding! UUuhhhh can you say, surreal?!  I was originally supposed to have an assistant but the day before the wedding an emergency presented itself and she could no longer help me.  After about 10 minutes of utter panic I regained composure and mentally prepared for the task ahead, and let's just say all in all the day was GREAT!  There were multiple times where I had to fake like I knew what I was doing, but ultimately everything went off without a hitch and I got some amazing photos.  Being the photographer has got to be one of the funnest jobs you can have at a wedding--you really get free reign the whole day to go wherever you want and make people do whatever you need.  You get to see all the behind-the-scenes and you get priority position at any given time.  I think the scariest thing about shooting a wedding is being your own boss, and what I mean by that is that when it's just you taking all the photos (no assistant, side shooter, etc.) no one else is able to see what you're producing and no one else is able to offer you any constructive criticism or guidance--it's all on you to know that you're doing well and getting the right shots.  Also, if you miss an important moment, there's no one there to bail you out with a backup shot.  I had multiple nightmares leading up to that day, nightmares where I envisioned myself coming home and realizing that every photo I took was out of focus.... But I'm happy to report that was not the case.  The ceremony was maybe the most stressful 30 minutes of the day, and knowing where to stand and the right time might be a job in itself, but after that was over I was extremely at ease.  I think shooting this wedding solidified my desire to pursue wedding photography.  Not because it's where the money is, and not because of the romance, but because to capture someone's wedding day is a job you can't help but love doing.  As I edit the photos I have a huge grin on my face because I'm happy for them, but I'm also happy that my work will be with them for the rest of their lives!  Delivering never felt so good. :)

This month we also had a few visitors; my aunt, uncle, and their 2 gold retrievers drove across the country with their RV and spent a week living in our driveway.  They left their house at the end of march, drove through Utah's national parks, skied in Colorado, and stopped in at the Long Beach Grand prix before making it to us, and now they have gone up the west coast through all our big cities and are currently soaking up Oregon's Crater Lake.  They plan to return home sometime in May when they are done exploring... I'm so jealous!

Last weekend my sister and brother-in-law announced to the world that they are going to be parents come October.  I have known about it for some time but I haven't been allowed to tell anyone or share my photos, so now I can say I'm pretty excited about it!  I'm sure you will be seeing a lot of maternity photos in the next few months, and a ton of newborn photos come holiday season. ;P

Today I got contracted to take photos at a baby shower in La Mesa and tomorrow I'm headed up to Long Beach for the day to photograph my niece and nephew's first communion.  I don't know what it is about holding a camera in my hands, but I seriously love it.  I can't wait for what's next!

(after 9 hours of shooting and being on my feet I made James take a photo to commemorate the day!)

I don't intend to post a lot of my photography work on this blog because I don't want to inundate those who come here just looking to find out more about what the Doskocil's are up to, but if you are interested please feel free to subscribe to my Photo Blog here.  

What a Difference a Month Can Make

Here we are, over a month since my last post, and I can't believe how much has changed.  At the beginning of this year I was really motivated to make 2014 count.  I wanted it to be better than 2013 and I wanted to achieve that by making conscious decisions to better myself inside and out.  The year has started off pretty rough so far, and at times I feel like I've already failed to accomplish my goal, but at the same time there has been so much good, especially in the little things.

In January my husband James and I moved out of our beloved first apartment and relocated to San Diego.  It was one of the hardest decisions we've made together and it was definitely bittersweet.  In November, after having been laid off for the second time in a year, the Christmas season found us in a tight place financially, and also a little low in spirits.  On Christmas Eve my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and found out that she would be undergoing major surgeries early in 2014.  My head was spinning as I tried to remain in control of my life and emotions but I was ultimately reminded again at how little we can really control, apart from God.  After many tears and prayers and days spent sick to my stomach, I agreed to quit my job so that we could move down to San Diego to be closer to my family, and to help us save up and pay off our debts.  Leaving our home, our church, and our family and friends was one of the hardest things I've ever done.  The last few days in our apartment I could hardly walk through the door without crying over losing our first place, our little corner of the world where our marriage started and so many great memories were made.  Long Beach is only about an hour and a half by car but it feels so much farther when you have no friends in your same zip code.

During late February and early March most of my time was concentrated on my mom.  She had a double mastectomy and tram-reconstruction (where they take your stomach muscles out to form new breast mounds) and was in the hospital for almost a week.  When she got home she could do very little by herself and needed a lot of personal care.  Two nights after we brought her home from the hospital my dad came down with a fever that required an overnight stay for us in the emergency room, only to find that he had contracted diverticulitis and would be dealing with that for likely the rest of his life.  To make matters worse, my kitty cat was acting very unusual and after a handful of visits to our [amazing] vet, she's better now but only after learning that she has a heart condition that will follow her the rest of her days.  I have to forcefully administer her medicine twice a day and three times on Wednesdays and Sundays, and her discomfort just breaks my heart.  Needless to say, I felt like I was playing nurse for everyone in our house this month and often times I was so burned out the days just blended together.  My dad is back at work now and my mom is doing amazingly well--she might even go back to work next week.  She is cancer free and doesn't even need chemotherapy--praise the Lord!  During this whole time I have been taking video clips of her progress and I put them together in a family documentary.  I'm so excited to put in the finishing touches and show it off...but maybe not here, as the subject material is a bit personal!

These past three months at home have been a bigger blessing than I anticipated.  I have really enjoyed spending all this time with my family, getting closer with my parents and Kayla & Shayne, and just being back in my hometown has been refreshing.  I can't lie and say that unemployment has been a walk in the park... there are definitely downsides, like having no income, and feeling like a bum, but it has also allowed me time to slow down and reprioritize the things that matter to me.  It's also nice to just take a breather and step off the "treadmill" that is life, to stop and smell the flowers.  It's harder for James who didn't grow up here, and who is suffering through the experience that is living with your in-laws, but I think he's managing well.

My absolute favorite part of 2014 so far has been my time invested in Photography.  If you will recall, last September I was offered the opportunity of a lifetime, to study photography and apprentice under a good friend of mine who has been shooting for years.  She lent me her Nikon dslr and gave me regular photo assignments to start learning the art and the industry.  We had a few practice shoots together and I've been shooting a bit down here in San Diego too.  I invested in my first dslr camera, my Canon EOS 60D, and I am in love.  Come February I settled on a name and started up my official "business" (how fancy schmansy that sounds!) and thus became Doskofoto.  Our last name, Doskocil, is Czech and in the Czech language, photography is written "fotografování."  I figured the name would not only sound cool, but it would subtly incorporate a bit of our heritage to merge the two Czech words.  In March I bought my first domain, created my own website, and now am officially in business, pending my small business license.  I don't have as much professional experience as I'd like to have had by now, but it's coming, little by little.  This year I already booked five weddings and countless photoshoots, and I couldn't be more excited.  To think I could one day make a living off of doing something I truly enjoy has been nothing but a pipe dream these past few years, but now it is becoming reality.

On a more personal note I have had quite a slew of health complications myself, ranging from my ongoing hip problems, to random bouts of gastritis, heartburn, and waking up covered in hives.  I seriously can't catch a break.  I know the inside of my doctor's office better than most people know their own workplace, as I'm there at least three times a week (for physical therapy amongst everything else).  After undergoing an MRI, CT scan, arthritis bloodwork, and after receiving a cortisone steroid injection, I think we are nearing the diagnosis of whether or not I will have hip surgery again this year to correct my hip dysplasia.  While I don't relish the thought of another surgery plus the recovery, if there was ever a perfect time to do it, it would be now while I'm out of work and living with multiple caregivers.  So I guess the next 3-6 weeks will tell all..

So 2014 has surely been off to a loaded start, but like I said, there has been so much good.  I look forward to the next few months (sans the reality of hip surgery) and I am truly thankful for all the prayers and support that have gotten us this far.  Thank you!

While perusing the fabulous internet app that is Pinterest I recently found a cool little article on women's health and a few habits that each woman should have.  I thought I would share it on here for anyone to read, so if you have a minute, check it out:

World Cancer Day

I recently came to learn that February 4th is World Cancer Day, a time to celebrate and encourage those fighting cancer and those that have survived, and also a day to reduce stigma and dispel myths about cancer.  For me, it is also a day to remember friends and family members who lost their fight against cancer and while they are no longer here with us in flesh, they remain in my heart in spirit.

This past Christmas my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and so far we have spent the first months of 2014 figuring out where to go from here.  After numerous doctor appointments and a lot of good literature, I think my mom has become one of the strongest contenders to fight this disease; on top of exercising more than anyone I know, she's even traded in her meats and cheese for a vegan diet.  As a child, we grow up thinking our parents are invincible and will be with us forever.  Then something like this happens and it sends shockwaves through your system.  I have many friends who have lost a parent or two at a young age and I can't say I know what they felt like, but I know what it feels like now to lose that false sense of invincibility.  I'm scared but I know my family and I are trusting in the Lord to bring her through this.

In 2013 my brother in law, Shayne, was diagnosed with testicular cancer and had surgery which successfully removed all of the cancer.  In October my sister, Kayla, had skin cancer removed as did my mom earlier in August of the previous year.  In 2012 we lost James' grandfather to cancer, and my mom's best friend was battling colon cancer (she is now cured).

At times I just want to throw my hands in the air and ask, "who's next?!" because it just seems inevitable.  After finding out that my mom is the 3rd generation of women on her side of the family to be diagnosed with breast cancer, I start worrying and wondering if I will be diagnosed, and at what age.  All of my friends and doctors are recommending that I get checked for the genes now, but what if I test positive?  Do I just live my life in fear waiting for that shoe to drop?

Cancer is a nasty, cruel, unfair disease, and it has taken too many people whom I love.  As much as I hate foul language, the "F*** Cancer" hashtag is growing on me day by day.  Haha.

In memory and respect for all my loved ones touched by this disease, I'm praying for and thinking of you all on this day.

Superbowl Weekend

This past superbowl weekend was one of those weekends that felt like it lived up to its potential, I enjoyed every minute!  Whether it was time with family, time spent with my kitty, or just time to myself, it was time well spent.  On Saturday we had a great big family breakfast complete with lattes and doughnuts and in my case, a delicious lox bagel.  Later my sister and my mom and I went on a 20 mile bike ride from our house to the beach and back... it was killer!  They regularly go to spin class together so they are in much better shape than I am and they schooled me.  They probably could have gone a lot faster and farther but stayed with me anyways.  I thought I was going to be super sore the next day but the only thing that hurts is where that bike seat rubs the wrong way if you know what I mean....  Anyway! After our epic ride my mom treated us to mani/pedis and can I just say those are always so relaxing.  After church on Sunday we all headed over to Kayla and Shayne's apartment to watch the superbowl and kick back.  Admittedly I couldn't care less about football but seeing as I married a football enthusiast I will be watching the superbowl for as long as I live. (I may or may not have slept through half the game, including the halftime show, but no one saw that, right?!)  By the time I crawled into bed on Sunday I was exhausted from the weekend, but in the best kind of way.

Happy Monday, everyone!

A Time for Everything

Yesterday marked one of my larger recent milestones, my college graduation!  Even though I finished my classes and received my diploma in December, it was a joy to officialize it by walking in the ceremony along with my fellow Human Development colleagues.  It was an incredibly fun and enjoyable day despite the anticipated sunburns and wait times; I was able to spend the day with the ones who love me most, at an unusually relaxing pace.  In the morning we slept in and then James ran out to grab coffee while I ironed my dress and got ready for the day.  He returned with my parents, up from San Diego, and we hopped in the car and drove to school.  Thanks to my almost-expired handicap parking pass we were able to find parking quickly and walk right in, and before I knew it the precessional was going and I was ushered into confetti and cheers as 1,092 of us took our seats.  The ceremony dragged along as they read thousands of names but oddly enough I didn't mind it at all.  Afterwards I reunited with my family, including my older sister Heather and her kids, and then it was off to dinner at Red Lobster where we met up with James' family too.  Dinner was full of laughter, and GOOD FOOD (for me hehe), and then James and I headed home for a quiet movie night in.  Truly a great day!

A few weeks ago my friend Danielle asked if she could take some graduation-esque photos of me for her website, which I gladly agreed to.  I never imagined my last few moments on campus would be spent limping around, but I did, and ended up getting a couple great shots in the process.  This school holds so many memories for me, from each stage of my short life, and graduation seems to mark so much more than just a scholastic achievement.  I'm happy to close this chapter in my life and move on to the next!

I haven't even worn makeup for the last 5 weeks!

Viewer discretion advised?

I think most everyone knows by now that a month ago I had hip surgery to reshape the inside of my right hip socket due to hip impingement.  It's a big word that means my femur bone had a sharp spur that was cutting up the labrum (soft tissue) inside my socket, causing much pain and grinding, and it would only get worse with age.  So with only two weeks notice I decided to nip it in the bud and just take care of it while I was able to.

Before surgery, all smiles!

Except for IV's. I hate IV's.

The procedure; they go in two separate places in order to get into my socket with a scalpel and a camera.

The damage; said holes and my beautiful new scars I'm rocking for the rest of my life...

Sewing up the labrum inside of my socket

 

And to finish, they shaved down the head of my femur bone.

The surgery went well with only a few complications and 14 hours later I was headed home to San Diego for rehabilitation at home with my mom and dad.  It was the nicest week and a half that I've had in a while, as I was able to catch up on many missed family dinners and conversations, and to be completely honest it was nice to just be a lazy bum for a while; I found this new contraption called Netflix, ever heard of it?

My hunny would come down and visit me in San Diego every once in a while...

Five days after my surgery I had the misfortune of experiencing dyspnea which meant that I stopped breathing, along with turning blue and numb, my mom called 911, and I got to feel what it's like to hear ambulance sirens and know they are coming to save your life.  It was a very strange feeling, not being able to pull any air into my lungs, but all I could think is, "this can't be how I go."  And it wasn't; the paramedics were there in minutes and after another trip to the hospital, a few cat scans and blood tests later (and negative), I was able to go home and bum around some more.

I also hate narcotic painkillers. They make me scratch my face to death.

The following Saturday I returned to Long Beach and since then have become a professional couch potato.  On doctors orders I have to elevate my leg for 18-20 hours a day (basically the whole day) with my trusty ice pack and lots of snacks. I  shamefully admit I have become a Netflix addict and have breezed through 2 or 3 shows.  Confession: I'm totally addicted to Pretty Little Liars and I can't wait for its return in June!  Oh, how will I survive without cable?!

#teamspoby

Today I got to go to my first physical therapy appointment (better late than never, eh?) and I will just say it was no walk in the park.  I was somewhat scolded for transitioning from crutches to cane a little too hastily, and was also reminded of the fact that I had no simple surgery, but that my condition is very serious and I need to "respect" my hip more than I am.  I got stretched out in every direction and tonight I am S-O-R-E.   But I think just like anything, in order to overcome I need to go through a little bit of pain, so that I can eventually be strengthened and pain-free.

Day 7, my first date getting up and around. Little victories.

In my last five years of schooling at CSULB I have driven past this sign nearly every day, so how ironic that I am now patronizing their business.

I would be lying if I said I'm living it up, enjoying being pampered and taken care of while laying in bed all day with nothing to do.  I'm actually going stir crazy.  Most of my days I wake up and read, or someone comes to visit, or someone is kind enough to take me out on the town, crutches, ice pack and all.  James and I even ventured out to IKEA and have now been assembling a few new pieces of furniture. It's kind of cool to receive "special" handicap treatment, getting close parking and getting to ride all of those motor carts at the stores. ;)

I never thought I'd see the day where I would want to be at work more than I want to be at home in bed ...oh wait I still don't see it that way, :P But believe me, I am ready to get back to my routines.  I miss my leg.  I miss being able to sleep on my side or my stomach, I miss being able to drive and to hurry up and down the apartment stairs.  I miss being able to take long showers without the need for a shower chair, and as much as I look cool with my cane, I really miss being able to walk around all day without wincing and having my knee swell up.  

My view, all day, every day.

It hasn't all been in vain, however.  I am feeling relief from the grinding pain I was having before surgery, which is actually quite pleasant.  I'm also enjoying this as time to reflect and do some deep thinking and meditation (I'm not burning incense or anything, but implementing Psalm 1:1-3).  I really appreciate the friends and family that have stopped by to bring a meal, or spend an hour or two entertaining me and making me laugh.  I have even enjoyed the more holistic and simplified lifestyle I seem to have stumbled into this past month.  I feel like a hippy, not wearing makeup, or a bra, or doing anything with my hair more than throwing it in a loose ponytail.  I only eat what I can scrounge up from around the fridge and pantry (I can't even check our mailbox, let alone drive to the store) so I've actually found we had a nice collection of veggies stashed away in our crisper.  And I haven't had Starbucks in so long! I've resorted to all kinds of teas, but mainly a consistent intake of beautiful h20.  

 

Our super low-key Newlywed Easter.

So it's been quite the journey, and it's not over yet, but I'm excited to continue with therapy and to grow stronger every day.  I really hate this asymmetrical leg muscle thing I have going on, so if for no reason other than the fact that it's almost sHoRtS season, I will be sure my leg gets back on track ;)

Oh and I can't forget my number 1 fan, who was kind enough to sit on my hip the day after my surgery, just to remind me how much she loves me...

#vinepost