A Time for Everything

Yesterday marked one of my larger recent milestones, my college graduation!  Even though I finished my classes and received my diploma in December, it was a joy to officialize it by walking in the ceremony along with my fellow Human Development colleagues.  It was an incredibly fun and enjoyable day despite the anticipated sunburns and wait times; I was able to spend the day with the ones who love me most, at an unusually relaxing pace.  In the morning we slept in and then James ran out to grab coffee while I ironed my dress and got ready for the day.  He returned with my parents, up from San Diego, and we hopped in the car and drove to school.  Thanks to my almost-expired handicap parking pass we were able to find parking quickly and walk right in, and before I knew it the precessional was going and I was ushered into confetti and cheers as 1,092 of us took our seats.  The ceremony dragged along as they read thousands of names but oddly enough I didn't mind it at all.  Afterwards I reunited with my family, including my older sister Heather and her kids, and then it was off to dinner at Red Lobster where we met up with James' family too.  Dinner was full of laughter, and GOOD FOOD (for me hehe), and then James and I headed home for a quiet movie night in.  Truly a great day!

A few weeks ago my friend Danielle asked if she could take some graduation-esque photos of me for her website, which I gladly agreed to.  I never imagined my last few moments on campus would be spent limping around, but I did, and ended up getting a couple great shots in the process.  This school holds so many memories for me, from each stage of my short life, and graduation seems to mark so much more than just a scholastic achievement.  I'm happy to close this chapter in my life and move on to the next!

My Gay Best Friend

Yesterday was a special day because it was the birthday of a dear, dear friend, my GBF, Tommy!  Anyone who is close to me knows how I feel about him and how he can never be replaced; one of those friends that just sticks around after everyone else has moved on with life.  He is truly a best friend; someone who sees me for who I am and has never judged me for the decisions I've made, the way I live, how I look, or anything else for that matter.  In high school I was an increedddibly awkward (and ugly) teenager and it's no wonder to me now why I had only the friends that I did, because looking back I can see how strange I (we) were. Tommy was someone who was actually pretty popular (and mysteriously had friends in all places) but of all groups to align with, he chose to be our friend.  He was my first guy friend and I soon found that it was much easier to talk with him than anyone else because he saw things from a different brain and he was able to give me fresh advice.  We became fast friends the summer after our freshman year and together with Kirstie and DeAnne we were thick as thieves.  What else is there to do but hang out when no one has a license or a job?

Teaching me how to play tennis when we were but babies.

I remember the funny times, riding on my electric motor scooter to meet them at the Starbucks by Tommy's house, just so that we could stalk my barista-crush and spend hundreds of baby-sitting dollars doing so study spanish.  We would take hundreds of dumb photos and home videos and upload them to MySpace because we were so cool (I confess, still have most of them).  Tommy introduced us to Boba and Asian fast-food, he supplied us with all the crude humor we never learned anywhere else, and kept it real when it came to critiquing our fashion choices and wardrobes.  I guess at the time we were having too much fun to notice it was strange for a fashion-savvy asian guy to travel with a pack of mid-pubescent white girls. Oh well.

Tommy was always there for me, even when it meant sitting around just being bored together.  He was the first guy I ever held hands with, my first slow dance, the one I confessed all of my secrets to when I started dating, and he was the one who let me cry and whine when I was in the depths of my worst heartbreak.  We made a promise that we would get married to each other for the sake of tax-benefits if neither of us were married by 40.  I guess that won't be happening, not that he minds.

Senior Prom.

It was the week of our high school graduation when I got his phone call, out of breath and uncharacteristically anxious, asking me to meet him at Hilltop Park by our house.  I dropped everything and met him in minutes, only to have him lead me away to a secluded bench and shake in front of me for a few more minutes.  I asked him what was going on and that's when it happened, he came out and told me he was gay.  I can't say it surprised me; my parents and friends' parents had been saying it for years, but I wasn't going to join in until he confirmed it for me.  He told me about his struggles during our four years of high school together, and what he had gone through even since he felt that way in childhood.  I was a little confused because he dated some of my [girl] friends in high school, but he explained to me why he did that.  I guess you could say things were never the same after that conversation.

But then they got back to normal, and we all adjusted to who he was and how he was going to live.  Who was I to judge this person who had been nothing but supportive and loving of me since the day we met?  When he told us about his first boyfriend I think we were a little protective and nervous at first, but now I can see it's really just all the same, relationships and all.

I know how I was raised, in my conservative-Christian home, and I know what I believe in my heart, but nothing in the world could make me feel any differently about Tommy.  It's been such a wild ride, learning everything there is to learn about his lifestyle, which is the lifestyle of many people I have come to know up here in LA.  It really crushes me when I see close friends (yes, usually of my Christian community) acting the way they do and saying the things they say about homosexuals.  Regardless of how you feel about the lifestyle, it's no reason to treat the person differently or to act all fidgety around them as if they have the plague.  I think it has been one of the most educational experiences in my life to have this friendship and to learn the reality of what it's like for people like Tommy to navigate life.

Today little has changed, Tommy is still there for me every step of the way, and 100 miles from San Diego to Long Beach makes no difference at all.  When we are together it's as if no time has passed.  I was extremely bummed that he couldn't make it to my wedding (to be my best man, of course) because was backpacking through Asia(!), but we still have the rest of our lives to continue making memories.

Happy.

Tommy, I love you so so so much and nothing will ever change that.  You have been a truer friend to me than anyone I've ever met, you are undoubtedly the best at keeping in touch (out of all of us), and your optimistic outlook on life is truly contagious.  I love every outing we have together and I know that coming home means coffee and talks with you, because you are always there.

I haven't even worn makeup for the last 5 weeks!

Viewer discretion advised?

I think most everyone knows by now that a month ago I had hip surgery to reshape the inside of my right hip socket due to hip impingement.  It's a big word that means my femur bone had a sharp spur that was cutting up the labrum (soft tissue) inside my socket, causing much pain and grinding, and it would only get worse with age.  So with only two weeks notice I decided to nip it in the bud and just take care of it while I was able to.

Before surgery, all smiles!

Except for IV's. I hate IV's.

The procedure; they go in two separate places in order to get into my socket with a scalpel and a camera.

The damage; said holes and my beautiful new scars I'm rocking for the rest of my life...

Sewing up the labrum inside of my socket

 

And to finish, they shaved down the head of my femur bone.

The surgery went well with only a few complications and 14 hours later I was headed home to San Diego for rehabilitation at home with my mom and dad.  It was the nicest week and a half that I've had in a while, as I was able to catch up on many missed family dinners and conversations, and to be completely honest it was nice to just be a lazy bum for a while; I found this new contraption called Netflix, ever heard of it?

My hunny would come down and visit me in San Diego every once in a while...

Five days after my surgery I had the misfortune of experiencing dyspnea which meant that I stopped breathing, along with turning blue and numb, my mom called 911, and I got to feel what it's like to hear ambulance sirens and know they are coming to save your life.  It was a very strange feeling, not being able to pull any air into my lungs, but all I could think is, "this can't be how I go."  And it wasn't; the paramedics were there in minutes and after another trip to the hospital, a few cat scans and blood tests later (and negative), I was able to go home and bum around some more.

I also hate narcotic painkillers. They make me scratch my face to death.

The following Saturday I returned to Long Beach and since then have become a professional couch potato.  On doctors orders I have to elevate my leg for 18-20 hours a day (basically the whole day) with my trusty ice pack and lots of snacks. I  shamefully admit I have become a Netflix addict and have breezed through 2 or 3 shows.  Confession: I'm totally addicted to Pretty Little Liars and I can't wait for its return in June!  Oh, how will I survive without cable?!

#teamspoby

Today I got to go to my first physical therapy appointment (better late than never, eh?) and I will just say it was no walk in the park.  I was somewhat scolded for transitioning from crutches to cane a little too hastily, and was also reminded of the fact that I had no simple surgery, but that my condition is very serious and I need to "respect" my hip more than I am.  I got stretched out in every direction and tonight I am S-O-R-E.   But I think just like anything, in order to overcome I need to go through a little bit of pain, so that I can eventually be strengthened and pain-free.

Day 7, my first date getting up and around. Little victories.

In my last five years of schooling at CSULB I have driven past this sign nearly every day, so how ironic that I am now patronizing their business.

I would be lying if I said I'm living it up, enjoying being pampered and taken care of while laying in bed all day with nothing to do.  I'm actually going stir crazy.  Most of my days I wake up and read, or someone comes to visit, or someone is kind enough to take me out on the town, crutches, ice pack and all.  James and I even ventured out to IKEA and have now been assembling a few new pieces of furniture. It's kind of cool to receive "special" handicap treatment, getting close parking and getting to ride all of those motor carts at the stores. ;)

I never thought I'd see the day where I would want to be at work more than I want to be at home in bed ...oh wait I still don't see it that way, :P But believe me, I am ready to get back to my routines.  I miss my leg.  I miss being able to sleep on my side or my stomach, I miss being able to drive and to hurry up and down the apartment stairs.  I miss being able to take long showers without the need for a shower chair, and as much as I look cool with my cane, I really miss being able to walk around all day without wincing and having my knee swell up.  

My view, all day, every day.

It hasn't all been in vain, however.  I am feeling relief from the grinding pain I was having before surgery, which is actually quite pleasant.  I'm also enjoying this as time to reflect and do some deep thinking and meditation (I'm not burning incense or anything, but implementing Psalm 1:1-3).  I really appreciate the friends and family that have stopped by to bring a meal, or spend an hour or two entertaining me and making me laugh.  I have even enjoyed the more holistic and simplified lifestyle I seem to have stumbled into this past month.  I feel like a hippy, not wearing makeup, or a bra, or doing anything with my hair more than throwing it in a loose ponytail.  I only eat what I can scrounge up from around the fridge and pantry (I can't even check our mailbox, let alone drive to the store) so I've actually found we had a nice collection of veggies stashed away in our crisper.  And I haven't had Starbucks in so long! I've resorted to all kinds of teas, but mainly a consistent intake of beautiful h20.  

 

Our super low-key Newlywed Easter.

So it's been quite the journey, and it's not over yet, but I'm excited to continue with therapy and to grow stronger every day.  I really hate this asymmetrical leg muscle thing I have going on, so if for no reason other than the fact that it's almost sHoRtS season, I will be sure my leg gets back on track ;)

Oh and I can't forget my number 1 fan, who was kind enough to sit on my hip the day after my surgery, just to remind me how much she loves me...

#vinepost

March; hellogoodbye.

The last month has seriously flown by, but I feel like everyone says that about February because it's a shorter month and all.  But we're in mid-MARCH! How does that happen?! I wish I could say some interesting things have been happening over here in the Doskocil home but sadly that isn't so, time has just been slipping on by.

Since I last wrote I have been to 2 more weddings (#yearofweddings!), one for my friend Melissa (my first black wedding! it was a whole new experience!) and also my friend Allison.  Allison got married at a barn in Huntington Beach that I had considered having as our venue, and it was gorgeous as expected..leaving me a taaaad jealous ;}

February - Melissa & Trent

 

Brides trading places!

March - Allison & Dave

Speaking of weddings and such... February marked our 6 months! Wow! 6 months of being married and also 1 year since James proposed.  Been looking at some photos, taking trips down memory lane- it's our favorite thing to do.

The best day, ever.  I wish I could do it over and over (kind of).

Feels like yesterday :]

This month I also got to take my niece Julianna out on a date to paint some ceramics and have some sushi (a girl after my own heart!).

 

Before, after painting, and a week later after firing it in the kiln... 

 

Her first time at Sushi Studio...

I also got new glasses because we discovered I have latent hyperopia, meaning my vision switched from entirely near-sighted to entirely far-sighted. I didn't know that was possible, but of course if indeed it were, it would happen to me.  I don't know how I feel about the new frames though, they're kind of dark against my fair complexion! We'll see...

Not too many other happenings going on over here. I think one of my favorite things about being married is the time we have in the morning to chat and prepare for the day.  And to take pictures (that's his least favorite thing about marriage...maybe ;}). 

My sweetheart <3 p="">

See you in 4 weeks, Stacked!

I suppose I will leave you with this picture I might have snapped while driving.... I had to! I guess there is a school for everything nowadays???

lovebirds

Happy Valentine's Day!