Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Life is Heavy

Life has been so heavy lately.  Not in a bad way, just in a way like I feel every little thing that happens.  Trying to explain it to Oanh, you know how sometimes you cruise through life and you're like, "Oh my gosh, it's May, how is it May?" and April and March seem like they never happened... okay that would be living light.  Heavy is like, every day something happens and you go to bed feeling the day.  I feel like my days have been so intentional and purposeful and packed, I am feeling life really heavy right now.  But I love it!

Today was one of those morning where I set my alarm for 8 thinking that I would need a lot of time to finish homework and wakeup, but I ended up getting ready really fast and now I have an hour to do... nothing.  SO I'm blogging!

This past weekend I went home to San Diego to go wedding dress shopping for my little sister... how surreal is that?! It was 7 hours of torture...I mean, it was great.  She tried on about twenty dresses and my mom only teared up over 1.  And that was the one she chose.  I wish I could post a photo but I think I might be killed if I did that.  Just know that she is beautiful and that when the wedding happens I will surely be postin pics.  Being a MOH (Made of Honor) I know I am supposed to be helping with all of these details but I feel so useless and clueless.  Any married people out there that know a good place to find a DJ or a photographer?  I mean, there's so much more than that that has to get done that I want to do... save the dates, engagement photos, invitations.. ahhh!

After dress shopping I got to come back and just spend some time with my family in our NEW HOT TUB (which was wonderful) and before I knew it, it was wayy late o'clock and I had to drive back to LB :( But I think I'm seeing the world in rose tinted glasses right now, because none of this has gotten me down.  Sunday morning was one of those days where I was just hit with a bout of thankfulness.  Thankful for everything that I have, everything I am involved in, everything that is happening, and just where I am with God.  I have never been able to come to Him with a heart like this before and it is just so relaxing to not have a convoluted web of contingencies and ordeals that I am trying to work out.  Being still and patient has been a lot more comforting than I ever thought.

I am working the next ten days in a row and I am so tempted to just check out.  Finals are around the corner and it would be soo easy to just throw in the towel right now and succumb to the pressure to just let it slide on by.  But I won't! I have even been super good about moderating my Facebook time! Facebook is the devil, but a very resourceful devil at that...

I have been blessed to meet bi-weekly with a new friend, Katie, and have bible studies with her at my local Starbucks.  She wants to be a missionary but before she can be sent out she has to essentially "teach" 10 people the lessons that she will be teaching her students, and I volunteered to be one of her 10 test subjects.  She has been bringing me through the basics and now we are looking at the relationship between the Old and New testament.  She has an amazing way of speaking and I am learning about who God is in a way that I have not before..probably because I was too proud to admit that I did not learn it in Sunday School.  God really just desires to be with His creation, and when we stop scrambling and always trying to figure out what else it is that He wants from us (essentially, nothing, he just wants US) it makes you start to see a bigger picture.

I know that life comes in seasons and this happens to be a fruitful one for me, but I am not worried about the future when this changes.  Hope you all have a good week!
"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised...She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come."                                                                                    .                          -- Proverbs 31 



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  2. you HASHTAGGED a blog post!! thats hilarious & awesome